Come Home

An open letter to women who have left the Catholic Church:

We want to invite you to come talk with us, and we are excited to meet you! Just like you, we are daughters, sisters, wives, and mothers; students, professionals, and stay-at-home moms. We are teenagers, 20-somethings, 30-somethings, and beyond. We are from many walks of life and from diverse backgrounds, but we share a common faith - one we want to invite you to revisit.

Some of us have been away from the Church, and by one way or another we've come back. Some of us never left - but that doesn't mean we’ve never questioned nor been confused. Some of us were raised outside of the Church, and made the decision to join as adults. In one way or another, each one of us has come to know and love Christ in the Catholic Church - and in keeping with Pope Francis’ request we want to share that love and joy with you.

Being Catholic isn’t easy, and we’ll be the first to tell you that we aren’t perfect; we have many planks in our own eyes to worry about. Our faith embraces paradoxes, challenges our culture's values, and makes us feel uncomfortable when we are called to examine our actions and our motivations. But - as you already know - just because something is challenging does not mean it is not worthwhile.

We know that you are intelligent and capable. We believe that you deserve answers to your questions, and explanations for the teachings with which you're struggling. We’ve all struggled with various aspects of our faith, but we aren’t here to judge or condemn you. We simply want to listen to what you’re feeling. We want to understand what is making you uncertain about being part of our Catholic faith. We want to help you find the answers and explanations that helped bring us home. We want to meet you, we want to hear about your experience, and most importantly, we want to invite you back.

Feel free to email any of us with questions or concerns you may have about the Church, her teachings, or what reversion means. If you’re not ready to bare your soul to complete strangers, we’d love to direct you to sites that helped us (and still help us) as we discerned our calling in life.

Wherever you are, whatever you believe, know that we are praying for you. You are our sister - another woman navigating a challenging world. We look forward to talking with you!

In The Peace and Love of Christ,

The members of #Cathsorority

Alright... Good Talk: My Experiences with Spiritual Direction (Guest Post by Christina!)

I've written about some of my experiences with spiritual direction before, but I've never really devoted an entire post to the topic. Perhaps I will someday, but until then I am very excited to welcome my first guest post by Christina!

~*~

Hi everybody! My name is Christina, and I blog next door at Reflections of a Catholic in Formation. Liesl asked me to write a post about my experiences with spiritual direction, and I will gladly do so over the next few paragraphs. On we go!

For anyone who is unfamiliar with the concept of spiritual direction and what it’s all about, let me give you the five cent definition. Spiritual direction is when a person meets with a priest/nun/monk/well-formed lay person to talk about their spiritual life. You’ll talk about how you’re praying, how often, what you struggle with, major themes you notice (or they might notice for you), and perhaps a plan for going forward from where you are. It has a great deal to do with self-awareness, but you’ll also be trying to listen for God’s voice or see His hand in your life. Additionally, they’re a fantastic help if you’re discerning your vocation, and that’s where my story starts.

I was away from the Church for most of my high school career, and reverted to the faith shortly before my freshman year of college began. I had a serious conversion of heart on a retreat that September, and threw myself wholeheartedly into the practice of my faith. I was on cloud nine for a while, going to daily Mass, weekly Adoration, and occasionally cutting my math class to have lunch with the missionaries on campus and two very wonderful religious sisters, and I naturally began to think about entering the religious life myself. However, what began as a passing thought quickly became a matter which consumed my prayer completely. After about three weeks of torturous grappling with it, I decided I had to speak to the university’s chaplain.

I went into his office and very nervously told him that I thought God was calling me to the religious life. I don’t recall what he said, but I do remember that he was much too calm for my comfort, seeming almost to take the news in stride as if I’d informed him of what lovely weather we were having. I was upset by his reaction and confused with what this would mean for me. Would I drop out of school to enter a convent? Would I still be called to the religious life if I finished my degree before pursuing it? The chaplain could see how upset I was, and took me into the chapel to talk. He reassured me that if I was actually being called to the religious life, this wasn’t a bad thing. It’s a beautiful vocation, and the women who are called to it live with extraordinary joy. If I wasn’t being called to religious life, that wasn’t a bad thing, either. Either way, he told me, I should stop trying to actively discern, since I was so new to the faith, and that I should remember that no matter what my vocation ended up being, whatever God called me to would be my happiness (this is one of his favorite things to say).

It was at that point that he recommended that I see him each moth for spiritual direction. Since then, he’s helped me work through some serious issues. When my parents, angered by the change in political views my religious orthodoxy had brought about, pulled me from the Newman Center’s World Youth Day trip and I thought they would force me to spend the next three years at UConn, I was in his office looking for guidance. When I was afraid to go home to my very lax Catholic family for the summer, where I would have none of the support I enjoyed at school, I was talking to him. When I thought once again that I might be called to the religious life, he was counseling me on what to do. When I experienced a sudden and painful spiritual dry spell during my sophomore year, he was helping me work through it. Even working through some very personal issues that affected my spiritual life, I went to the chaplain in spiritual direction.

Of course, I don’t want to give the impression that spiritual directors only help you deal with the tough stuff in your spiritual life. Liesl and I have the same spiritual director, and though he has a unique relationship with each of the people under his direction, he and I have a slightly weirder relationship than most. We make fun of each other a lot, we used to get into a few (lighthearted) physical tussles, and occasionally I will invade his office, take up one of his couches, and we’ll just laugh at the awkward non-sequitur of a situation. We laugh a lot, talk about sports, he’ll occasionally tease me for being a nerd like one of our more recent seminarians, and he’ll guide me through good or emotionally neutral time in my spiritual life, as well. He’ll recommend books I should read or new prayers I could say, either to expand my horizons or to correspond to what’s going on with my prayer life. He’s also my confessor, which helps him and me identify patterns and signs more easily because we see most of what’s going on together, rather than me knowing everything and forgetting to tell him something important or relevant.

Even as a young woman who hasn’t discerned her vocation and doesn’t have a degree yet, I can definitely say that spiritual direction is a tremendous help in my life. It allows me to reorient myself every so often, like a pilot making sure the plane is on course, except with heaven as my destination, it’s not so much about keeping on the only route that will get me there as determining which route God is calling me to take. I imagine that eventually, whether I move away for grad school or work or any other circumstance, I will need to find a new spiritual director. This isn’t an uncommon occurrence, and though I dislike the thought because I also think of mine as a quirky older brother figure, I’m more or less reconciled to the idea that it will happen. In any case, I thank God for my spiritual director and his wise guidance, as well as for allowing me to grow closer to Him through spiritual direction and its fruits.

If you would like to learn more about spiritual direction, you can visit Catholic Spiritual Direction, though you will have to sort through it a little bit, depending on your familiarity with the subject. If you want a spiritual director, ask around with anyone you know who has one. You can also ask any priests or other religious you know to guide you or point you in the right direction for a spiritual director. I hope I’ve helped you all out a little bit by telling the story of my experience with spiritual direction, and I want to thank Liesl for giving me the opportunity to do so. God bless, everyone!

Liesl and Christina met two years ago on the front porch steps of the GW Newman Center, Christina a young freshman and Liesl an old graduate student trying to be welcoming (and not scare people away). Thankfully, Christina kept coming back and the two became friends in real life! Christina is a junior at George Washington University, where she is studying history, how many times you can go to Mass in one day, and wrestling. If you want to contact her, you can find her practically living at the Newman Center during the school year, or you can also reach her through her blog or email at reflecting.catholic@gmail.com.

Excuse Me While I Swoon

Check out the other great posts on "Literary Crushes and How They Shaped Our Hearts"!

Looking back on my literary crushes, I don't think I really knew why I fell for these fictional lads at the time. I just did.

It was when I started learning more about the Catholic faith, chastity, and the dignity of women that I could look back on my childhood - er, well, continuing past childhood - crushes and see that what I saw in them was what I did and still do long for in a real man. 

I don't mean what society tells us is a real man - the macho, beer-drinking, sports-watching, money-making, crude joke-cracking, sometimes jerk player kind of "man". 

I'm talking about a real, real man. All you ladies know what I'm talking about. He is masculine. He is respectful. He is patient. He is humble. He appreciates women. He is in control of his desires. He doesn't pressure women to be who they aren't. He loves his mama and looks up to his papa. He knows how to make money, but doesn't let that rule his world. He doesn't boast. He has a hilarious sense of humor, and loves the sound of your laugh. He knows how to make sacrifices... and makes them willingly. He knows who Love is, and strives to emulate Him by loving you.

That looks like me on the right, right?

Oh, and he's a handsome prince.

Kidding.


(Not really.)

I think one of the things I have learned most from my literary crushes is not that they have shaped my heart, but that they show me what is already imprinted on my heart.

Mr. Darcy

Excuse me. *Leaves the computer to swoon.* Thank you.

Is it really any surprise that Mr. Darcy makes the list? I know I'm not the only one to have fallen victim to Mr. Darcy's love spell. Actually, I think it has almost been scientifically proven that any woman who reads (or sees!) Pride and Prejudice falls in love with the brooding and mysterious male lead.

I find Mr. Darcy rather handsome. (Image credit)

It's certainly not because of that famous opening line: "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife." Sure, his $10,000 pounds a year is exciting to Mrs. Bennet, but it sure doesn't get my heart thumping.


I think a line from the movie really emulates why we all find Mr. Darcy... desirable:

You must know... surely, you must know it was all for you ... you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. 

Mr. Darcy sacrificed so much out of love for Lizzy, yet he never sought to make it known to her. What woman doesn't long to hear the words that a man has done everything he has for love of her, and her alone? What woman doesn't want to feel that kind of sacrificial love? We all seek this - even if we don't realize it. We seek this in a man, and we seek this with God - to be forever be bonded to him.


Prince Char


... *cricket cricket* ...

If Ella says no, I'll say yes!

Oh, sorry, I had to leave to go swoon again.


Sure, Ella Enchanted might be written for girls ages 8 and up, and yes, I may have read it for the millionth time in the past few months, but there is something that touched my 8 year old heart that still touches my 25 year old heart when I read about the friendship between Prince Char and Ella that eventually blossoms into love.


Plus, Prince Char is just a cute patootie. Sliding down stair rails in the castle? Sign me up! Learning to speak crazy Gnomic language? Hot! Rescuing the damsel in distress from hungry ogres? My hero!


I think what I have always loved most about Prince Char is how he views Ella. Others see Ella as odd, clumsy, awkward, spunky, quirky... the list goes on. I know that all of these words and many more have been used to describe me in the past. Yet, Prince Char sees all of these qualities not as setting Ella as an untouchable outsider, but for making her the unique woman that she is. He matches her quirky sense of humor, rescues her when she needs it, has the humility to need her too, exhibits patience in waiting for her to be ready for their relationship, and then doesn't give up when he knows that it's time for their life together to begin. Many children's book lads are portrayed as either following lasses around in a lovey dovey daze or pushing the ladies to their "awakening." Prince Char doesn't do either of these, but instead walks alongside Ella, seeing her as his equal and loving her for exactly who she is. I don't think I've ever met a woman who doesn't recognize that a man like that is a catch.


Shakespeare

My boyfriend.

I know what you're thinking. Shakespeare isn't a literary character! You would be correct. I do, however, have a major crush on The Bard. Why, you ask? The man had a way with words, and he managed to create some of the most timeless, intricate, and swoon-worthy characters of all time.


Our love story began my freshmen year of high school. I can't explain to you why I first loved Shakespeare, but I can tell you that it was love at first sight. I became enticed by his words, and I felt a deep emotional connection to his works. Maybe it’s because he was secretly Catholic, but the man knew how to write the poetry of love.


I could go on and on with examples, so I'll try to only throw a few your way. How about this classic line from Romeo and Juliet?

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Sure, their love affair happened in a matter of a week, but that Romeo did it right. Juliet became the only light he needed. As my high school English teacher would say, he wooed her, wed her, and bed her. All while speaking in pretty poetry. Romance!


Romeo and Juliet is soooo over-rated, I hear you say. Fine then. I bet you've never read The Tempest. There we encounter Ferdinand, who has been stranded on an island with the eccentric Prospero and his daughter Miranda. Ferdinand admits that he has "known" many women, yet when he first sees Miranda, he recognizes the purity and beauty in her. To win her hand, Prospero sets menial tasks for Ferdinand to complete. A man who was just hoping to use Miranda for his own pleasure might mumble and grumble, but love has clearly changed Ferdinand:

Ferdinand. 

I am, in my condition,
A prince, Miranda; I do think, a king, -
I would not so! - and would no more endure
This wooden slavery than to suffer
The flesh-fly blow by mouth. Hear my soul speak:
The very instant that I saw you, did
My heart fly to your service; there resides
To make me slave to it; and for your sake
Am I this patient log-man. 

Miranda. 

Do you love me? 

Ferdinand. 

O heaven, O earth, bear witness to this sound,
And crown what I profess with kind event,
If I speak true! if hollowly, invert
What best is boded me to mischief! I,
Beyond all limit of what else i' the world,
Do love, prize, honour you. (Act III, Scene i)

By becoming enslaved to her soul, he has been set free by love. He prizes and honors her for the true treasure that she is. What woman wouldn't swoon at these words?


This idea of having to work hard, make sacrifices, and yes, even suffer to find true love is echoed throughout Shakespeare's works. While none of us really desire suffering, we seek it in the sense that out of suffering emerges true love. Shakespeare said it well in A Midsummer Night's Dream:

The course of true love never did run smooth.

What wise words. Love always involves suffering, and requires willing sacrifices from those involved. Our hearts seek another who is willing to do anything and give anything to show his love for you, and my heart has always recognized this in the writings of The Bard.

~

Why do these literary crushes make me go weak in the knees? Because in my heart - in all of our hearts - our definition of true love doesn't change. What we seek in a man doesn't change, even if society tries to teach us otherwise.


While falling head over heels in love with an imaginary man isn’t encouraged, reflecting on just what it is that takes our breath away can teach us a thing or two about the desires of our heart. These literary crushes may not have shaped my heart, but they can reflect how my heart has been molded by God for Love.

What happens when...

... you put three #cathsorority ladies in the same city?

I'm not sure, but I bet we'll have the answer after this weekend!

Elizabeth, Trista, and I are meeting up for the first time, attending an NFP seminar together, and enjoying some well-mannered frivolity. People will speak of this epic meeting of the minds for years to come.

Not drawn to scale. We are not really that large compared to the DC/VA area.

I am also sure that some slight craziness will ensue. (If you hear reports of earthquake-like tremors in the DC/VA area, it's probably not due to the shifting of tectonic plates, but from the epic mash-up of the three of us.)

I even had the opportunity to meet and spend the evening with Elizabeth last night, where I introduced her to Cincinnati chili:

Fine cuisine, imported from exotic Ohio.

Word on the street is that she loved it! It was fun to spend the evening talking and hanging out - we get along in real life, and not just in blog world! Huzzah!

I am sure we will have many interesting and/or exciting stories, as well as new things we learn at our seminar, to share with you all after this weekend. Hopefully we will have some great pictures of the three of us together to post as well, to prove that this epic meet up really did happen.

I hope you have a great weekend, as I am sure we will have a blast hanging out together!