The Coach

The following stems from a small part of a homily I heard last night at a Healing Mass. The priest said in terms of healing that "God never heals you just to sit out out on the bench" - and I took this metaphor and ran with it.

Take me out to the baaaaaaall game!

I used to be afraid of playing softball.

I think it stemmed from a fear of being hit by the ball. That evolved into being afraid of messing up and missing a catch, making the wrong play, and especially striking out at the plate. I relished the times when I went up to the plate and was greeted with four balls, meaning I got to easily walk to first base. I was that girl that the coach stuck in right field and at the end of the line-up, because my lack of confidence was holding me back.

Going to a hitting camp one summer and making the school team that next year gave me some more confidence, and I found myself using the skills I'd always had and improving on my game. I was even a little surprised to see that while I had been stuck in right field for so long, I was actually pretty good at playing in the infield when I was given the chance to play other positions. I still play in the infield to this day.

Even more, I started to find myself not afraid of stepping up to the plate and even excited by the idea of getting to hit the ball. Even though I didn't always make it on base, I moved from the end of the lineup to the beginning, because my coach told me that having someone who wasn't afraid to take a swing at the first pitch was just what we needed to start off the game. While I no longer lead the lineup on my adult team, I do hit the ball almost every time I'm up at the plate, even if it means getting out at first so that the runners in front of me can advance on the bases.

I needed to gain some confidence in myself, but I also had to come to recognize my role on each of the teams with which I have played. It took these things to help make me a better player, allowing me to use my skills to help the team conquer. It isn't about me making a great play or hitting it out of the park, but about what I do that helps my team win the game in the end.

So what about playing for God's team?

Has the fear of striking out or getting hit by the ball ever kept you from stepping up to the plate?

What about the pain, suffering, and confusion you've encountered in the game?

Sometimes it feels like I'm reading the signs from my third base coach (i.e. God),  and I think I know exactly what He wants me to do and so I just go for it - all in. It's only when I strike out, get hit by the ball, just get beat out by the catch at first, or watch that left fielder make a spectacular over-the-shoulder catch when I realize that what I thought I saw down that third base line wasn't really the sign that Coach was giving me.

Frankly, it feels like a wild pitch straight to the face. Or to the heart.

Oomph! Thanks for that pitch.

So what do I do when this happens? Thinking Coach is about to put me on the bench for the mistakes I've made, I just go ahead and bench myself to save Him the trouble. Yet, once again, this is reading the signs all wrong, and by doing this, I keep Him from putting me back into play where He needs me. I keep myself on the bench, not quite sure where to find healing, when really I need to get back into the field to find what I seek.

God doesn't allow me to experience pain and suffering just to sit me out of the game. He doesn't let my heart get broken, and then leave me alone to heal. He is there to coach me through the pain, wanting to heal me.

Aw, he's too cute to be benched!

I have trouble letting God coach me through the pain, though, especially when I hold onto the idea that He led me there with those crazy baseball signals. (Wait, did He touch the brim of his hat to indicate an actual signal or was it just a signal to throw off the other team... now I'm confused!) Even when I turn to Him, I still have a difficult time completely opening myself up to His comforting words and healing grace. I don't know why - because I beg for for my heart to be open to healing - but I just continue to keep myself on the bench, guzzling my water, spitting sunflower seeds, and trying to do what I can to nurse my bumps and bruises, all the while wishing I could be back out in the field. Yet, while I'm sitting here doing this, Coach is just trying to give me the signals to heal me. He doesn't want to do this just to keep me on the bench. He wants to heal me to put me back into the ball game.

Why? God is the Coach. He is the best Coach out there, but He needs me to go out and actually play the game for Him. There's only so much a coach can do to lead his team to victory, because He can give us all the right signals and coaching tips, but we have the freedom to choose otherwise or choose to see what we think we want to see. Unfortunately, we are playing the toughest team out there, and they are led by a mischievous and relentless coach (i.e. Satan), and Coach can't afford to let His team sit on the bench. He needs me to play my hardest, to do what I can to help the team win the game.

He needs me to go up to the plate. He needs me to bat again for Him. He needs me to take some swings for others. He needs me to be a witness, to show others that despite the mistakes I make in the game, despite the times I get hit and fall to the ground, broken and weak, I can still heal and come back even stronger. He needs me to let Him pick me back up. He wants to heal me and give me another chance to help the team. He needs me to do this to help bring others to Him.

Imagine the kind of home run welcome you'd have if God
were your baseball coach! AWESOME!

I can't be afraid to go to the plate to bat again. Not just go to the plate, and stand there, and hope for a walk - I have to go to the plate, ready to swing away. Ready to take some hits. Ready to take a chance on striking out. I have to be ready and willing to take these risks for the chance that I'll hit it out of the park. He needs me to take those risks if I'm going to play for His team. Sometimes He needs me to help bring others home to Him - to bat them around the bases and score some runs - even if it means making a sacrifice play and getting out myself. This is the call of a team player, and in being a follower of Christ, we are all called to be team players.

Blessed Mother Teresa said, "Let God use you without consulting you. Give God permission." I have to let Him heal me so that He can use me for the next big play. I shouldn't have to give Him permission, but He will wait for me to say, "Yes" to whatever play He calls. I have to let him use me to do what's best for the team, and I have to trust in His coaching.

I don't know what the next play is going to be, or even what kind of play Coach is going to call. As I wait, I am trying to learn to be more accepting and open to the trials, suffering, and mistakes - and the eventual healing - that I will continue to encounter in this game. Hopefully, I will learn the signals that will bring me across that home plate, where God the Coach is waiting, with a jumping high five, to say, "Welcome Home!"

This is how excited Coach gets when you come back to the game!

7 Quick Takes Friday (#5)

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1. I missed Quick Takes last Friday... whoops! It was just a busy week!
2. The trailer for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows premiered this week. This is just too much excitement for me!
3. This week, we had a good-bye barbecue for our campus minister at the Newman Center. It is sad to see her leave as she is such a fun person to be around and great person to talk with about almost anything, but hopefully she will still be in the area! Pray that she will have a safe trip wherever she heads next in life!
4. I scored my first run of the season this past week in softball... and it was stealing home, which let's just say doesn't happen too often with me!
5. Check out two great posts on the Eucharist this week here and here.
6. This was another busy week for me, but I am enjoying being busy! This week, I got to work in the lab, read lots of articles, go to a fun Bible Study session, bake and decorate a cake, have Jocelyn over for a slumber party, hang out with some good friends, win 2 softball games, play putt-putt (and not come in last place!), go to the batting cages, get in some more softball practice with a couple of friends, watch some baseball games on TV, cook dinner for more people than just myself, take 2 bubble baths, and enjoy this gorgeous weather. I would say that was a successful week.
7. Happy 4th of July! Hope you are celebrating with family, friends, good food, good memories, fireworks, parades, and good music!
I thank God for my life And for the stars and stripes May freedom forever fly Let it ring Salute the ones who died And the ones that gave their lives So we don't have to sacrifice All the things we love...

7 Quick Takes Friday (#4)

1. I have the final Girl Scout meeting of the school year tonight. Hopefully I will have more entertaining stories to share!
2. Check out my latest post for some interesting, comedic, and thought-provoking videos from The Colbert Report. I found them to be highly entertaining while also presenting an intriguing defense of the faith.
3. Taking a (brief) break from the spiritual workout and focusing on just a regular workout... I forgot how good it feels to have some real physical activity in my life with softball. I wake up sore the morning after practicing or playing a game, but I feel like I have so much more energy to get me through the day! I really should remember this and try to stick with it throughout the year... yeah, like that will happen...
4. I'm starting to get Harry Potter fever again... they just finished with the last day of filming for Deathly Hallows, the theme park in Orlando is opening up next week (I want to go so badly!!!), and I'm already getting my t-shirt ready for the midnight showing of Deathly Hallows: Part 1. I really should spend this time trying to figure out what I am going to do with my life once Harry Potter is no more.
5. I went on my first Rosary Pilgrimage this week! We prayed the Luminous Mysteries on our walk to the chapel, prayed the Joyful Mysteries in the chapel, and then finished up with the Sorrowful Mysteries on our way home. All in all, we prayed 3 rosaries in 45 minutes. Not bad. I will probably be doing it again at least once this summer.
6. Please pray for my Aunt Jeanne. She was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and just had surgery this past week. Pray for a speedy recovery and for all the cancer to be gone!
7. I really want to read more about the lives of the saints. Do you have any recommendations for good books? They can be about individual saints or a collection of many. I really enjoy reading the mini-biographies in the Magnificat each day, but I would love to find more!

7 Quick Takes Friday (#3)

1. Since I installed the Feedjit on my blog, I’ve noticed some people other than myself are appearing on my blog! Welcome, hope you’re enjoying what you’re reading! If you have a few minutes and want to introduce yourself, I would love to get to know you!
2. This is my science geek-out moment for the week… I just finished reading Solar by Ian McEwan, his latest work of fiction - he is one of my favorite authors if you are looking for a good read this summer. The novel follows the life of a Nobel prize physicist who is past his prime... but it talks about a research project he "discovered" later in his career that has the concept of using solar energy to split water into hydrogen and oxygen, which can be used as a fuel source. His novel is so well researched - the science is pretty sound - but I was just so fascinated because I spent a semester researching these "solar fuel cells" for my senior capstone for my bachelor's degree. It was completely amazing to be a reading a novel that detailed a subject area with which I was familiar. I sort of wish he cited his sources, as I would love to see if he read literature from Dr. Harry Gray or Dr. Dan Nocera - two of the big researchers at Caltech and MIT, respectively, that have been great pioneers in this work. I can only imagine that he had to have stumbled upon their work, but I am intrigued. And if you geek out about stuff this kind of stuff like I do, be sure to check out this video and this video. 
3. I had my first softball game this week - it is so good to be back on the field after 5 years of not playing! My batting game was, well, non-existent, but I rocked in the field - 8 outs! That’s pretty cool. My hand now has a nice, swollen purple bruise on it though - the girls on my team don’t mess around with throwing the ball. Wham. Ouch.
4. I have had something going on EVERY NIGHT this week… but I am not complaining. Something that I struggled with moving here was finding things to do and people to talk to - I can be a pretty shy person at first - so it is very nice to have so much going on and feel like I have people I can call up just to hang out or get some food.
5. One of my favorite things about summer is the fresh fruit! I am pretty convinced that I have an addiction to sugar - I just HAVE to have it - but I love getting my sugar fix through strawberries or grapes or cherries or mangoes or… you get the idea. I’m eating cherries as I am writing this. Delicious.
6. I am going out tonight with some friends from the Newman Center - we are going to a place that has country line dancing and karaoke. Should be really interesting. I tend to go weak in the knees for country boys... there's just something about those cowboy hats and boots combined with that cute southern drawl!
7. I went to Eucharistic Adoration THREE times since last Friday. I feel pretty spiritually rejuvenated! I especially enjoy all-night adoration - there is something about sitting with Jesus at 1 AM that I just find so peaceful. What’s something that brings peace into your everyday life?

7 Quick Takes Friday (#2)

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1.  As I sit here writing my “Quick Takes” for this week… I have to wonder, how on earth do people come up with SEVEN things each week? Clearly, I do not have enough exciting things happen in my life each week. I must work on that.

2.  Something I love about reading a new book is where it takes you. For example, I just finished People of the Book this week and it was a pretty good read. In talking about it on two separate occasions, I had two people recommend the same book to me - The Red Tent - and so it has been added to my reading list. Books just have a way of creating good conversations and leading to contemplative thinking - what a journey!

3.  I had a professor at my school who acts as a spiritual mother to many of us Catholic students ask me to go on a rosary pilgrammage next week. I had never even heard of these before she suggested it - has anyone ever been on one and what kind of experience was it for you?

4.  I love xkcd comics - they often have fun math and science jokes - but I found this recent one particularly entertaining. According to this, I am a science geek… but I am also a band nerd. So I guess I fit in the middle of the Venn diagram? (Points if you knew this was called a Venn diagram!)

5. Have I mentioned before how much I LOVE Fridays? I think I might have...

6.  I had my first softball practice this week. I haven’t played fast-pitch in five years and so I was a little nervous to get back into it - but it was a blast! I am so glad I found a team to play with for the season and am looking forward to getting some physical exercise in a fun and enjoyable way! 

7.  Tonight, I will be attending a Holy Hour of Eucharistic Adoration to pray for the men that will be ordained priests in DC. Adoration is a wonderful way to get some exercise for the spirit - we are in the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! Awesome. Please pray for all those that have answered the call to the religious life, especially those that will soon be ordained as priests!