I'm going once, going twice, I'm sold! on the lady in the second row!

Have you done your good deed for the day? The week? The month? The year?

Well, have I got an idea for you!

Leila has introduced us all to Reece's Rainbow, which is an adoption ministry that works to raise money, awareness, and support for children with special needs who are waiting oh-so-patiently for their families to find them.

The children that are featured just break my heart, because they have so much love to give... yet they are sitting in an "orphanage" (better known as institutions) where they don't receive adequate care and not nearly enough hugs and kisses that every child deserves.

One of these sweet kiddos is Andrew, who spends each and every day in a crib!!!! Before you get all emotional, I have some good news - praise the Lord for the Spivey family, that cannot wait to bring him home!  What little boy wouldn't want to live with sisters and a brother, with goats to pet, and little chickies and ducklings to play with and so much more!!

However, they need our help! Adoptions are expensive... really expensive. To help defray some of the costs, they are holding an auction right.this.very.second. out on Facebook, where the bidding is getting crazy!  ALL of the items were donated, so all of the proceeds go to help bring Andrew home!

How can you help?

GO. 
BID. 
NOW.

There are some great items up for bid, and again, all the money goes to help Andrew come home!

In my not-so-humble opinion (IMNSHO?), one of the best items out there is this here blanket:

Made by yours truly.

That's right. I will make you a one-of-a-kind homemade blanket, for you to snuggle up with your honey or kiddos or just by yourself with a mug of hot chocolate.

The current high bid is $75, but it's worth so much more than that, because along with a specialized blanket, you also get lots of prayers for your own special intention as I tie each one of those knots - that is a lot of knots!

So what are you waiting for!? Go bid on the blanket, or any of the other ~150 items!

But, wait, that's not all!

If you call within the next 20 minutes...

Wait, wrong advertisement (I said that with the British pronunciation in my head... go ahead, say it like them - ad-ver-tɪs-ment)...

Are you stuck in a bidding war for a one-of-a-kind blanket made just for you or someone you love?

Well, guess what?

TWO blankets have been donated to be auctioned off, awarded to the two highest bidders! We're talking a lot of knots here, people. Come on, you know you want to bid away!

Why are you still reading this post - why haven't you hopped over to the auction or to Andrew's page to donate directly?

Christ, My Wingman (Being Single Series)

I enjoyed reading Julie's post because as a single woman who is not in a relationship, it is very easy for me to forget that single women who are in relationships or engaged also still struggle with things like loneliness. It is a great reminder that we all need to seek Christ as our center, no matter what our current Facebook relationship status is.

~*~

The morning after my future sister’s wedding, my fiance and I attended the family brunch and were asked the question: short or long engagement?

B. said “short” and I said “long” – the listeners laughed.

We’ve been engaged for eight months now; four more months to go. It’s been a struggle intertwined with the joy of deepening our relationship and connections. As B. prepares to apply for residencies, I’m working, planning our wedding and preparing to transition into married life. We’ve made budgets and meshed five year plans. I’ve decided to delay grad school and he’s studied for and taken test after test following each rotation.

And that’s love, we’ve been told – let each struggle bring you closer together and closer to God, they say. But those practicalities are not even the hardest part for us. No, the hardest part of our engagement is that we’re still single people.

We’re long-distance and living with our families. B.’s weekends are usually on call and I try to balance my schedule with his. I’m squirreling away my income so we don’t have to take out anymore loans. We’re preparing to join two lives, two finances, two kinds of dish washing preferences and styles and prayer lives and quirks together into one union.

We’re single and we’re engaged and we’re ready to be married in a very real and literal way. This is our struggle, and there is a profound loneliness no amount of hand holding, night prayers or assurances of love can quench. This is why we both need Christ.

In Song of Solomon, it reads:

Upon my bed by night I sought him whom my soul loves; I sought him, but found him not; I called him, but he gave me no answer. “I will rise ow and go about the city, in the streets and in the squares; I will seek him whom my soul loves.” I sought him, and found him not. The watchmen found me, as they went about the city. “Have you seen him whom my soul loves?” Scarcely has I passed them, when I found him whom my soul loves. I held him, and would not let him go until I had brought him into my mother’s house… I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the hinds of the field, that you stir not up nor awaken love until it please” (3:1-5).

In these verses, I see my own beloved, and think of our chance meeting; I also see Christ in them. I experienced many heart wrangles before experiencing such human love, and I am of the firmest persuasion that B. and I met when we did because of Christ’s divine love for us.

Many single people desire to marry but do not first seek the peace of Christ first. Too often, God becomes an acquaintance when he should be a wingman.

In 1979, Blessed John Paul II addressed young people in Madison Square Garden. He told them that the meaning of life is to know Christ:

When you wonder about the mystery of yourself, look to Christ who gives you the meaning of life. When you wonder what it means to be a mature person, look to Christ who is the fullness of humanity. And when you wonder about your role in the future of the world and the of the United States, look to Christ.

In the midst of my engagement, as I pray thanksgiving to God for my intended, I also talk to Christ about our struggles. Even in an engagement, there is a lot of loneliness. There are times we cannot talk, we cannot comfort, and we cannot be with each other. We cannot yet share many the ordinary movements which make up life. Still, this time is not wasted and it is needed. I am glad the Church requires at least six months for the engagement period. I am glad we struggle with temptation instead of trivializing it. I am glad that we can help carry this cross with Christ.

It is in Christ that I first loved B. It is in Christ that I love him and others. It is only in Christ whom I can rest my heart. It is him whom my soul seeks, and one is never truly single when Christ is with you.

Christ, my Lord! Christ, my Savior! Christ, my wingman! Pray for us! Be with us! We’re in it for the long haul.

This post was also written for Ignitum Today, check it out!

Julie and her fiance, B.!

Julie is a 20-something passionate Roman Catholic who blogs at The Corner with a View. You also might have read her writing as one of the Bright Maidens and over at Ignitum Today and Creative Minority Report.  In case you missed it, Julie is engaged to be married to B. [why yes, that is his real name ;)] at the end of this year. Julie hails from one of the greatest states ever, which makes her pretty cool.

Rest in Him (Being Single Series)

I love Trista's short and sweet reflection.  It's a great reminder to all of us - especially those of us who are single - that we will be restless unless we rest in God alone.

~*~

Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? - Matthew 6:27

For the past few months, I have been worrying a problem to death, mulling it over and over again. Just when I thought I was done - bam! Back in worry mode.

The Lord has been with me every step, though I couldn't always hear him because of all my chattering. He tried to help me come at the problem in a variety of ways, and yet I still allowed myself to get worked up and distressed.

Finally, He got blunt, in a message surely meant for me, but useful for all single ladies and gents.

"Little girl*," He said, "when was the last time I told you to obsessively worry about some future event and how it will happen or how it might not happen?"

"Well, Lord," I sighed, "never."

"Exactly. Come rest in me, and I will give you my strength for what I have called you to do."

If you are obsessively pondering the single state, stop! Take a deep breath. Rest in the Lord. We are called to live in the moment. We are called to do His will, here and now. Let Him take on all our worries and cares. What He calls us to do, we will surely fulfill, if we just rest in Him.

*Please note this is usually how I feel the Lord addresses me and has no derogatory connotation. The Lord's words "Talitha koum" meaning "Little girl, I say to you, arise!" (in Mark 5) always resounds deeply with my soul.

~*~

Trista is a young adult Catholic who blogs at not a minx and is one of the Bright Maidens. She lives in New York, and has a special devotion to St. Joseph and St. Raphael. Some of her most popular posts include handling break-ups - Catholic style! - and her current long-distance relationship with her beau. Trista loves to travel, including all the way to the DC area to meet two other pretty cool Catholic ladies!

Being Single Series!

I wrote recently about how being single is a choice. No, it's not a choice that I make because it's oh-so-fun, but it's a choice that I make because it's what is good for me. Knowing this though doesn't make being single any easier.

There is so much that I love about being single, and at the same time, there is so much that I hate about it.

Love: having time to myself (introvert alert!); being able to do what I want/need to do any time I want; not having to be bear the responsibility of taking care of anyone else; being able to come home from a long day at work and plop on the couch and watch whatever television show I want to watch (after growing up in a family of six, it's nice not to have to fight over the remote); being able to spend what I earn on the things I want/need; that feeling of independence of being able to take care of myself; being able to hold and cuddle other people's babies while still being able to hand them over to momma when they have a dirty diaper

Hate: having too much time to myself; the intense feelings of loneliness; coming home to a quiet, dark, and usually messy house; being responsible for everything (chores, bills, etc.); waking up from a nightmare and being alone; seeing others living their vocation to the fullest (and mostly happily); not being able to truly care for others like I feel called to do; longing for communion with others on a deeper level

I don't know if you noticed, but many things on the "Love" list are, well... selfish.  There's a lot of "I" and "myself" and "what I want" in my list of loves. Yet, I wasn't created to "not have to bear the responsibility of taking care of others" or "watch television whenever I want". I was created for union and communion - which requires an Other.

All of this leads me to the following conclusion:

I am absolutely terrible at being single.

There, I said it! Glad I got that off my chest.

Just like the many stages of grief and healing, knowing and accepting the fact that I am awful at being single is just the first step. It is one thing to say this, but it's an entirely separate thing to actively will this knowledge and make the changes I need to make to stop being absolutely terrible at being single!

I had a mini-revelation during a conversation with someone I had just recently met at a friend's wedding. We were talking about where we'd been in the past year in terms of discovering that "What's next?" phase of post-school life. He was talking about how he didn't really know what he wanted to do, and didn't really have a job, and wasn't sure where he would end up - but that none of this really worried him. He said that all he desired to do was to follow Christ, and so that's what he was doing - and he was confident that if he put following Jesus first, then everything else would fall into place.

It hit me when he said this that even though we were in a similar place in terms of discernment, he was completely further on the path than I was. He got the point of being on the path, while I was still stuck on trying to figure out the reason for it all. I realized that one of the reasons my single life has felt so stagnant is because I am not following Christ as much as I claim to be doing/want to do.

I have to use this time that I've been given to learn how to truly put God first in my life. I realized that I have to live this single vocation to the best of my ability, and until I can learn to be better at being single - and putting God first in my life - whatever God has planned for me won't happen because I won't be ready for it.

As much as being single can be a burden sometimes, I have to see the single years as a gift. At no other time in my life will I be able to say that I have no direct responsibility for the well-being of anyone else. This is actually a good thing, and is part of the purpose of the single years, because not having direct responsibility for others gives me time to grow closer in union and communion with the one Other that really matters - God!

That's what makes these years so crucial for learning how to put God first in my life. If marriage and a family are to come later on my path, I have to be ready to care for others, but I can only truly care for a husband and my children if I am able to love them through my love for God. To do this, I have to care for myself first by truly striving to follow Christ.

Like I said, it's one thing to realize and know all of this, but it's another thing to learn how to be good at being single. So, just as God built us for community, I've asked for a little help from my friends.

Over the next couple of months, I am going to have some amazing Catholic women guest posting on my blog with the theme of "Being Single"! 

*Applause applause!*

I will be chiming in on this topic as well, but this series is as much for me as it is for you - we are going to learn from each other's experiences on how to be good at being single.

We'll hear from women who are truly single - like me - and who may be discerning. We'll hear from women (and maybe even a lad!) who are single, but are discerning marriage by being in a committed relationship. We'll even hear from some ladies who have discerned marriage and are engaged.

Even though we are all coming from a different place in life, we will all share the fact that we are all trying to truly live the single vocation that God has called us to at this point in our lives. We will hear what these single ladies do to live out their single vocations, and also hear things that they wish they had done or could do better.

You can follow along with this series by checking in with the Being Single Series tag on my blog. Read each guest's input, reflect on what they say, and join me on the journey of living the single life to the fullest by growing closer to God.

Chocolate Caramel Brownies

I made these brownies for Bible Study and my co-workers last week, and received mouthfuls of "Oh my gooooooodness!!!!" along with requests for the recipe - that, and Grace has requested that people post more recipes. But...

BEWARE.

These are brownies that you should only make if you are ready for the chocolate-caramel frenzy this will induce in all of your friends and family.

I've warned you.

My family affectionately calls these brownies “Diet Bars” – I can’t imagine why…

The recipe is very simple, and doesn’t really even have any measurements (that’s how we roll on my dad’s side of the family).  Basically this means that anyone can make it.

Here’s what you’ll need:

1 box of German chocolate cake mix
3/4 c. of melted butter
1 small can of sweetened condensed milk*
1 (6 oz.) package of caramels**
6 oz. (or more!) of chocolate chips

*Here’s the deal. Because of how the cans of sweetened condensed milk are these days, it means that you will have leftover milk if you only make one batch of these. Now, if you double the recipe, the measurements work out JUST right for a large can of milk, about 14 oz. Darn, I guess I have to always make a double recipe…

**You should probably unwrap the caramels. Just sayin’.

Mix together the cake mix, melted butter, and 1/3 c. of sweetened condensed milk.  You can also optionally add chopped nuts, but I never do this.

Butter. Quite possibly the greatest gift to bakers (besides chocolate) EVAH!

Take 2/3 of this mixture and press it into a lightly greased 9" x 13" baking pan, so that the bottom of the pan is covered. Bake this at 350 degrees for about 6 minutes.

You should probably wash your hands before doing this step.

When you take it out of the oven, let it cool. While you’re waiting through the smell of chocolatey goodness, unwrap the caramels. Pour 1/3 c. of the sweetened condensed milk over the caramels in a bowl, and microwave to melt them together. I recommend microwaving for 1 minute, then stirring, then microwaving in 30 second intervals while stirring in between. This avoids burning, which you don’t want. When it is all liquid and mixed together, you’re ready.

Spread the caramel mixture over the lightly baked cake base. Sprinkle chocolate chips over the top of the caramel, as little or as many as you want.

This is about when I decided that maybe it was time to go on a diet...

Crumble the remaining cake mixture in crumbs over the caramel and chocolate. Continue baking for another 20 minutes.

Sorry if I drooled into the pan.

You can check to see if it’s finished by sticking a toothpick or fork into the center of the brownies – beware though that the caramel and melted chocolate chips could throw you off. I can also tell by just giving the pan a little shake back and forth – if the brownies still move like liquid, you can tell they need a couple of more minutes. You do want them to have a bit of give though, because they will continue to cook in the pan a bit after you take them out. Plus, these brownies are better soft and gooey.

You should probably remove these from the oven before eating. Patience is a virtue, people.

...and this is when I decided that my diet could wait a few more days.

ENJOY!

~*~

Liesl’s extra-special, super-secret tip for keeping your brownies fresh longer.

So you just HAD to make 2 batches so the milk measurements worked out, didn’t you?

Now I am usually nice, and share these extra brownies with friends, co-workers, etc. However, if you want to be a pig and keep them all for yourself, you’re going to want to keep them moist and chewy.

Store them in a sealed container, and after a day or two, place a slice of bread in with the brownies in the sealed container. The brownies will soak up any moisture from the bread, keeping them moist and chew-tastic. You may need to replace the bread after a day or so if you are continuing to store them.

All the Single Ladies

I'm single!

I don't say that to inform all the men out there that I'm available... (although, hey, I wouldn't complain! Call me, maybe!)

I say it because I want all the single ladies out there to know that I know what it feels like. I've been there, done that, and I'm still here, doing that.

Being single is not fun sometimes. Really not fun. At all. It's a unique cross to bear, what feels like a lonely cross to bear, and it only seems to get a little bit heavier each time another friend gets married or someone you know has a baby or another birthday passes you by.

But this post is also a reminder to all of us - especially me! - that our singleness is a choice. Yes, that's right. We are choosing to be single right now.

We could choose to let go of our morals and standards, and start running along with society's idea of love and marriage. We could choose to sleep around, get our hearts broken, and maybe even end up in a bad relationship or marriage. But we choose to be single and wait.

I don't know about you, but I choose to be single because I choose to wait for the man that loves me, for all the good in me and for all my flaws. I choose to wait for the man who loves my heart and my soul, and loves that I care about his soul too. I choose to wait for the man who will help lead me to Heaven.

I choose to wait for the man who will tell our daughters that they are the most beautiful girls in the world, and who will teach our sons how to be chaste and respectful to others. I choose to wait for the man who is proud to hold crying babies at Mass, and still sings along with the choir anyway.  I choose to wait for the man who will work hard to provide for the good of our family, even when it means coming home to a house of screaming kids and a cranky wife after a long day at work. I choose to wait for the man who willingly makes a lot of sacrifices for our family.

I choose to wait for the man who will tell me that I'm beautiful, hold me when I cry, make me laugh in the good times and the bad, forgive me when I do something wrong, and apologize when he's made a mistake. I choose to wait for the man who will pray for me everyday, and pray with me every day. I choose to wait for the man who will love me - freely, totally, faithfully, and fruitfully - from the day we say, "I do." until the day I die.

This is what I choose, as difficult as it is to wait sometimes. Because I know that in the end, who I choose to wait for is worth it.

What will you choose?

The Skirt Experiment

Last week, I performed a little experiment. I am a chemist, after all, it's kind of what I do (well, at least before I got my job where I sit and read about other people's experiments...).

I wore a skirt or dress every day to work.

(P.S. Friday was my flex day off which is why I'm rocking the casual skirt look. That's right, I could see you judging my idea of work wear!)

Exhibits A thru E, wherein I make a different awkward pose every day of the week.

I know. This is an experiment that no one in the entire world has ever thought of ever ever ever EVAH! My mind amazes me sometimes.

So let me start off by saying why I decided to do this.

My work has a very lax dress code. We spend 10+ hours a day sitting in front of a computer clicking through patents and reading until our eyes bleed and knowing that we're way cooler than lawyers, and so most people don't really worry about their attire. I've actually seen people wearing t-shirts and jeans on a regular basis.

Thus, I went from wearing business formal attire every day when I first started my job to now wearing nice khakis or jeans, some sort of blouse, and a cardigan or jacket.

It's not because I don't like skirts and dresses, because that would be false. I love skirts and dresses. I think I own more skirts and dresses than I do pants. Really. Really really.

But, when the pesky alarm goes off at 6 am every day, and I see that 10 hour work day looming ahead of me, the laziness kicks in and I pull out the comfortable pants. After all, I'm sitting at a desk all day and I barely see the light of day much less other people, so why does it matter?

I discovered that it does though. Here are the top 5 things I learned from my skirt experiment:

#5: I was less lazy

This is my numero uno fault now (and, well, ever...) that I am a full-time working woman. How on earth can you expect me to come home from work every day and do things like unload the dishwasher and vacuum the carpet, all while getting everything ready for the next work day like packing my lunch and remembering to shave my legs and making sure my hair dries in something other than a frizzed mess? That's right, you can't. (God bless the man who is lucky enough to marry me someday...)

But wearing a skirt every day forced me to put some advanced thought into my actions for the whole week. I actually had to plan to shave my legs more than once in the last week (just laughable!) and I actually did something more than just throw my hair up into a messy ponytail every day. I even took the time to put in earrings every day. Whoa.

I found this less bit of laziness pervade other parts of my life too. I was much more focused at work, getting less distracted by chatting with my office mate or fun conversations with my office neighbor or my crossword puzzle. I came home and did more work or some chores instead of plopping right on the couch to veg in front of the TV. I even went out a couple of nights after work to spend time with friends. And, if the simple action of putting on a skirt can help keep me from hitting the snooze three times every morning, then I think it's a change I can make!

#4: I was more conscientious of how I acted

If anyone discovers a lady-like way to do the bend and snap,
let me know!

Wearing a skirt forced me to think more about what I do in the simplest daily actions. I had to walk more carefully, sit more carefully, bend (and snap!) to get a pen off the floor more carefully! It was a bit annoying at first - oh, how I longed for the comfort of my pants so I could just sit like a man! - but I realized that by wearing a skirt, I was forcing myself to act more like a lady.

Which brings me to...

#3: I felt more feminine

Blahby blahby blah - feminine genius - I know. We've all heard it time and time again, but there is so much truth and beauty to the feminine genius!

Our perfect model for the true
feminine genius!

Ladies, we are made in the image and likeness of God! We hold His beauty, we are His way of serving others in the world, we are His compassion to the suffering, we are His modest gift to our fellow man. We embody these things in our souls and, yes, our bodies! This is one of many reasons the lads are so mesmerized by us!

Wearing a skirt every day forced me to think more about living the feminine genius. Have you ever had a "I hate my body so much!!!" kind of day, only to put on a pencil skirt and think - "Wow, I've got some nice curves!" or "Man! I feel like a woman!" - ? OK, maybe that's just me. But the point is, wearing a skirt helped me to remember that I am a woman! I'm shaped like a woman, I (should) act like a woman, and I have the soul of a woman, and all of that should be reflected in the way I present myself to others. Sometimes, it can be as simple as putting on a skirt, but it can also be a kind smile to a stranger, a helping hand to someone in need, or bringing some delicious baked goods to your co-workers (guilty!). Letting this true femininity shine forth through your appearance also translates to my next point...

#2: I had more confidence in myself and my appearance

Like I said before, have you ever had those days (weeks? months? years? lifetimes?) where you just really haven't liked how you look or who you are?

At all?

Not even a little bit?

I have those days a lot (which is a whole other blog post!), and while a great pair of jeans and a nice top can give me a confidence boost, I've found that putting on a cute, feminine skirt can be a huge confidence boost for me.

I think a big part of this is that it can be a dog-eat-dog kind of world as a lady, especially in a society that puts so much emphasis on how skinny we are and a career field that seems to be immersed in men and women in power suits (OK, so the people at my job wear jeans or nice slacks... but a figurative power suit!). There can be a lot of pressure to fit these molds - to be skinny and gorgeous and tan and have men fawning over you (and your beauty) and to be successful in your job and know exactly what you want and not worry about dating and marriage because you are an independent woman, gosh darnit!

This is not empowering. Period.
And this is what we deal with on a daily basis.

All of this pressure doesn't do anything to empower us as women, but really just tears us down. And so, for me, putting on a skirt that flatters both my shape and who I am as a person helps me to look in the mirror and be able to say to myself, "You don't need to be the kind of woman society is dictating. You can be independent while still needing others, it's alright to still be searching for what you want, and it's ok that you're not a size 2! You are a confident and successful woman in God's eyes, and that's what matters." And so, I walked into work each day with my head held a little bit higher.

Of course, all of this leads to...

#1: I felt beautiful

Like I said above, the world seems to be bearing down on us women a lot, and so it can be tough to feel beautiful. I wrote about this a bit for my guest post for Christina, but we have to remember that God is Beauty and so if we are radiating the femininity that God blessed us with, then we are beautiful. Putting on a skirt every day helped me to remember that in God's eyes, I am beautiful - no matter what I think or society says - because I am a daughter of our Heavenly Father, a sister to Christ, and a temple of the Holy Spirit. Of course, I should be reminded of this every day, no matter what I'm wearing, but I've found that putting on a skirt or even taking a little bit more time for myself helps me to see and feel the Beauty that God has given me.

~*~

So, I'd like to challenge you to try to make a change in your life, even for a week! It doesn't have to be putting on a skirt, but it can be any small change in your daily routine to help change your outlook - to give you confidence, to help you feel beautiful, to make you feel like a woman. I'd love to hear how your experiment turns out!