We are having all-night Eucharistic Adoration at the Newman Center tonight in honor of finals week, and it was during my hour long marathon (I know, I can't normally sit still for that long... but I made it!) that Believe, and Be Satisfied popped into my head... and as I was reflecting on it, I had one of those mini profound moments of understanding.
Everyone longs to give herself completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God to a Christian says,
"No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, content with living, loved by Me alone, with giving yourself wholly and completely to Me, with having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone. Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.
You will never be united to another until you are united with Me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing... one that you cannot even imagine. I want you to have the best!
Please allow Me to bring it to you. Just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing the satisfaction knowing that I am. Keep listening to and learning the things I tell you. Just wait, that's all.
Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look at the things you think you want. Just keep looking off and away, up to me, or you'll miss what I have to show you. And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you. With a love far more wonderful than you would ever dream. You see, until you are ready, I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time. Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me. And this is perfect love.
And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love you completely, for I am God. Believe, and be satisfied."It's the last line in particular that has always resonated with me. I guess because it's always touched me in such a deep way, I've never really taken the time to think about what it actually means. The believe part seems simple - believe in God and His plan for your life - but the be satisfied part has always left me with a "feel good" feeling and has, up until now, escaped my deep thoughts. I had always connected it with the believe part (which it should be), but in the sense that I should believe in God's plan for me, and be satisfied with this plan. However, as I was reflecting on this in Adoration tonight, I got the feeling that I was being led to a deeper understanding with it.
WHAM. Ton of bricks.
Alright, not really... I wish, then it would be simple. But it was profound in a miniature scale. Be satisfied doesn't just mean being satisfied with God's plan for me, it means being satisfied with God. It goes along with a lot of what I've been reading, studying, and reflecting on recently in terms of being single and discerning my path in life, and I've come to realize in the past few weeks that I cannot find satisfaction in anyone or anything but God alone. Only He can satisfy me. Society teaches us to seek that satisfaction in other places - career, money, family, friends, a spouse - but the Truth is that only God can give us that satisfaction for which we long. I've been getting this idea through all of the readings and videos and talks I've encountered the past few weeks, but it wasn't until Adoration tonight - when I was fully and completely in the presence of the Lord - that I truly started to understand that be satisfied means being satisfied with Him and Him alone. Yes, He is shaping and molding us in our spiritual growth for whatever our vocation is in life, but He is also working within our hearts so that we can experience what He offers us - a perfect love. As beautiful as the gift of marriage and family are, and as they are given to exemplify His love for us, these gifts are not where the satisfaction is to be found... it is in seeking God through these earthly gifts where we encounter the real treasure - being satisfied.