Spiritual Dry Spells, Part 1

Here we go. I’m going to write about three words that seem harmless... but when you put them together, oh boy, watch out! I’m talking about...

Spiritual Dry Spells.

It seems like you can easily slip into a dry spell without even realizing it, so the big question is: How do you get out of one?

I'll let you know when I figure it out.

Kidding.

This would be a really boring short post if I waited to share all of my wisdom with you all until I got out of this seven-months-long-and-counting dry spell. Lucky for you, I'm too verbose to do short posts when I set out to really write, and my posts are never boring... (right?)

So, I sat down to write this post on another one of those hard-to-fall-asleep nights. You know, the ones where you can’t fall asleep because you have such great thoughts running through your mind that you just have to write them all down so you don't forget them in the morning. As I was thinking about what to include on my oh-so-helpful list of how to get out of a spiritual dry spell, I realized that maybe one of the reasons why my current spiritual dryness seems to be never-ending could be partly due to the fact that I haven’t been taking the advice I am about to give you right now.

Internal dilemma ensues. Should I still write this post? What if I can’t remember all this great stuff in the morning? What if I do write this and people think I’m a *shudder* "holier-than-thou" hypocrite?

The battle waged for 3.7 seconds before I decided that I really needed to go to sleep. So I quickly wrote down what I needed to purge from my head, and went to bed. And there those thoughts sat, out in cyberspace, unpublished to the world.

Until now. Most of the time, we, as bloggers, write about our experiences and things we have learned to share with our readers, with the hope that they will gain something from our experiences. Sometimes, we learn even more about ourselves in the process of preparing a post. This particular post, I admit, has some selfish motivations, because while I hope you all enjoy reading it and maybe even learn a thing or two, I'm hoping even more that writing this post will help me to become better at doing each of these things in order to grow closer in my relationship with God.

Without further ado, and in no particular order, my top ten list of things to help you in a spiritual dry spell. The first five are posted here, and the next five will be posted later this week.


1. Go to Mass more than you normally would

Vision of St. John the Evangelist

I used to go to Mass almost every day. It's not something I felt obligated to do, but something I looked forward to each day. I would sometimes come early and stay afterwards just to sit in quiet reflection or prayer, because it was something I wanted to do. When the dryness set in, I started praying even more fervently at Mass. I wasn't able to attend daily Mass as frequently due to my schedule, but when I did go to Mass, I would show up even earlier to spend more time in prayer, and I kept bringing the same petitions to the Lord. After a couple of months of that, with no "visible" results, I gave up.

I explained to one of my friends that I felt like I wasn't getting anything out of going to daily Mass anymore, and I found it difficult to focus on the readings and prayers like I had before. She not only reminded me that we don't go to Mass to feel something - but to worship and praise God - but she also explained that we receive amazing graces just by attending Mass. Just being in the presence of such a sacred mystery, abounding with grace, has got to scare the Devil, which means he will try whatever he can to keep us away! That's why it's so important to continue going to Mass. If you normally only go on Sundays, try to attend Mass a couple of times during the week. If you regularly attend daily Mass already, step it up a notch by arriving early or staying late to spend some extra time in prayer. I can say from experience that when the spiritual darkness sets in, you may lose the desire to go to Mass, which means you come up with every excuse in the book to not to get there that day... but if you do, God will grace you with His presence, even if you can't feel it.

2. Go say "Hi!" to a priest... in the confessional

Wussup, Father! I'm a sinner!

Spiritual dryness can be a heavy weight to carry, which can lead to us letting down our guard, opening up the floodgates to temptation and sin. Even if we don't realize it, being spiritually weary can be physically and emotionally stressful as well. A friend advised me that sometimes we can't do much to get out of a dry spell, but it's important to continue to remain in a state of grace so that we can continue to receive the Eucharist and be fully open to being a channel for God's grace. Even more, frequenting confession helps to protect us from spiritual attack... or at least better recognize particular vices that the sly one can use against us. 

From my own experience, my spiritual dryness has just been the icing on the cake, shall we say, with the other hardships in my life right now, which has caused a lot of stress and anxiety. I start to take this out on those around me, but especially God. I spend days building up anger and frustration with others and with God inside (yes, I even yell at God sometimes... in my head), and my patience was quickly diminishing much more rapidly than usual. It was when I was releasing all of this vented frustration to a friend that I realized I needed to take my soul to the car wash! The second I received absolution, I felt a huge weight lifted from me. The anger and impatience I had been feeling for days was gone. While I still had to come home and deal with the same frustrating situations, I was able to handle them more charitably and with loving patience. There have been a few times where I have walked away from Confession and physically felt a weight being lifted. Experiencing this feeling of God's love is always important, but especially when you are suffering from a dry spell, because it can be a much needed consolation that God's grace is still present in your life.

3. Try to do a Holy (Half) Hour each day

This makes me giggle. 'Sup, Jesus?!

The purpose of this is to make a point to set aside a little bit of time each day to focus on God. Can't do a holy hour? Try a half hour. Try five minutes, even! It can be spent praying in a chapel (or my latest alternative, sit quietly and try really hard not to go over my to-do list in my head), going to Eucharistic Adoration, reading some verses from Scripture, reflecting on the daily Mass readings, checking out some spiritual readings by the saints and other great Catholics... even just lying on your bed and thinking, "Are you there God? It's me, [insert name here]" is better than the alternative - ignoring God. When we (I) fail to do this, we start to use noise and toys and the shiny things of the world to distract us from what is really important, which is working on growing in our relationship with God. Would you not take the time to talk to or hang out with your best friend for long periods of time? Nope! Pretend that God is your best friend by spending some time with Him, because, well, He is your best friend. As with all relationships, a relationship with God has to be a two-way street. God is most likely holding up His end of the friendship, so we have to be willing to put in some effort as well.

4. Go on a retreat

Kairos - Live the Fourth!

I've heard that it's recommended for Catholics to go on at least one retreat a year to work on deepening their relationships with God. If you're in a dry spell, now is the best time to set everything aside and devote all your time to God. It makes a profound statement that you are willing to sacrifice time, technology, work, and other things of the world for a brief period in order to be only with God. While it may not end up being the mind-blowing experience you expect, you will most definitely receive certain graces by reflecting on your faith life and living on God's time instead of your own time. The biggest challenge for me - and many others - is taking what you learn from your retreat and putting these things into practice in your daily life, but it can be an important first step.

5. Serve others

I'm going to guess that she sees Christ in that sweet baby face.

Blessed Mother Teresa felt silence in her prayer life from the moment she answered God's call to open the Missionaries of Charity. Yet, she persevered and didn't give up on her relationship with God. She didn't stop going to Mass, and she received the Eucharist daily. She didn't counter God's silence with the cold shoulder, but instead persisted in her prayer. Most importantly, she continued to follow God's will for her life through serving the sick and poor each and every day. Through this service, it cannot be denied that she found Christ in each face that she saw, even if she couldn't find God in her prayer life. She may have suffered decades of silence, but by serving others, she remained close to God. I'm just going to take a guess and say that's probably one of the many reasons why she is now Blessed Mother Teresa. It's definitely worth years of silence in prayer to spend eternity in His presence.

We discover (or re-discover) our spiritual gifts through serving others. Furthermore, we grow closer to Christ by becoming more like him through service. To become more like Christ, whether it is through serving or suffering, preaching or silently evangelizing, is to grow a little bit further away from the darkness and closer to God's all-encompassing light.

I know that for me personally, I feel closer to God when I am able to use the gifts He has given me to help others. Whether it is cooking a home-made meal for college students away from home, baking a treat for Bible Study, offering free tutoring to friends who are struggling in their chemistry courses, or trying to be a positive, Christian witness to my pre-teen Girl Scouts, I feel more at peace even amidst the dryness in my spiritual life. I know that one of the more difficult struggles for me these past few months has been figuring out how I can continue to serve as my life is in a constant flux. When I felt like I had lost my outlets for utilizing my gifts to serve others, I began to feel a bit worthless. This is exactly what the Devil wants - the more worthless we feel, the less we realize how unique and special we are in God's eyes. This is why answering Christ's call to serve others - in whatever way we can - is so crucial, because it not only helps us shy away from the darkness of the Devil, but it makes us more like Christ which ultimately brings us closer to God.

Have you ever been in what seems like a never-ending dry spell in your spiritual life? How did you eventually pull through?

For other great blog posts about spiritual dryness, check out these great series by Julie at The Corner with a View and Jen at Conversion Diary.

Check back later for my next five tips, which will be posted later this week!

7 Quick Takes Friday (#18)

1. I write these Quick Takes as I sit in my Thursday evening class... I'm totally gonna win the prize for most attentive student EVER!
2. This week, I found two parishes near my apartment that have Perpetual Adoration. I checked out the chapel at St. Michael's and it's AWESOME! I was there for about 45 minutes and there were probably about 20 people in and out during my time there, mostly old ladies. I really am amazed how they are able to get adorers signed up 24/7! Anyway, I found them through my diocesan website, through the Mass and Adoration search bar. Check out your diocese and see if you have a chapel nearby too!
3. I shared my personal faith journey with the students at our weekly dinners at the Newman Center on Tuesday. It was a good experience for me to reflect on my past, present, and future, and organize it in a logical manner. I think a lot of the students were able to relate to a lot of my journey. 
4. I think eventually I will have to write an ode to my Friday morning students... because I love them that much. 
5. When I was tutoring high school students last year, I did a lot of praying for patience and it was amazing how much more patient I have become. So I think I need to start praying for patience again in dealing with those lovely Friday students.
6. Speaking of patience, one of the girl scout moms told me a few weeks ago that I have the "patience of a saint"... I laughed so hard. Probably the wrong response, but I have never been described as having the patience of a saint. Or really any patience for that matter! I think maybe I've just become really good at holding my lack of patience inside instead of just taking the scissors from the girls and cutting the paper for them myself!
7. I have decided that I really like British shows. Mostly Merlin, but I got hooked on Downton Abbey as well. I think British humor just tends to be a bit dryer and weirder at times which is pretty much how my sense of humor is too. 

7 Quick Takes Friday (#15)

Check out Jen at Conversion Diary for more quick takes!

1. Monday is the March for Life in Washington DC! Anyone coming around for it, or are you attending one in your region? I have to teach in the morning, so I'll miss the Youth Rally and Mass they hold at the Verizon Center each year, but I will be marching with many other students from the Newman Center in support of life. We had a priest come speak to us this week, and he brought two women who have had abortions in their past, and they told us about the amazing healing they've found through the Church. Women are so hurt by abortion, that it sometimes disgust me that so many "feminists" are pro-abortion. Let's pray that our voices will be heard this year as we speak up for all the unborn who can't speak and all the women who are hurting!
2. This weekend, I'll be attending the FOCUS Conference in Baltimore, MD. I am so pumped to spend a weekend away from DC with thousands of Catholics. Mass every day, Adoration 24/7, music, speakers, food... can't get much better than that! Hopefully it will be a prayerful and "productive" experience, as well as a time to meet some new people!
3. I found out this week that I've been chosen for an interview for the DC Teaching Fellows! That was some fun news... now I have to register for the Praxis II. I have been assigned to take the General Science exam... I hope they realize that the only science I am qualified (or want) to teach is CHEMISTRY. Goodness, it's not like I almost have a graduate degree in that subject! Just leaving everything in God's hands though - He knows what's best for me!
4. I started teaching lab again this morning. It will be nice to have something to keep me a bit busier than I have been... I have run waaaay too many errands this week.
5. I finally bought a frame for my Ophelia print that I bought at the Tate when I studied in London... 4.5 years ago. I'm excited to have it on my wall finally.

6. Do you ever watch a movie that skips around through time, and you wonder - "Are you doing this to be artistic... or just to confuse me like crazy?" I sometimes think directors do it just to drive people crazy.
7. Have I mentioned that I am really excited for FOCUS conference this weekend? I think I might have...

7 Quick Takes Friday (#12)

1. I know that deep down inside, you think, "Man, I wish Liesl updated more... I just love her quirky thoughts and insights into everything she writes... she must be super cool." Well, worry no longer - at least for this week. I published not one, not two, but THREE whole posts this past week! I know, it was an accomplishment. Check out my post on My Christmas Pet Peeves; Believe, and Be Satisfied; and UN-Planned Parenthood.
2. It's finals week here in GW-land, but it was a pretty relaxed one for me. I had my one and only final on Tuesday and it went much better than expected and then I proctored an exam this morning. So let's be honest... if I'd had a normal finals week, I probably would've updated twice as much as I already did this week. Sorry to disappoint.
3. I went ice skating at the Sculpture Garden on the National Mall last night with a few friends! It was a blast being able to skate in the chilly outdoors. Definitely something I would recommend checking out if you are ever in DC in the winter time!
4. It snowed here in DC this week, which is always fun, but this one was especially fun since it was the first real snowfall of the season. Even more so because people here haven't seen snow before, and it is highly entertaining (if not slightly wet from being pelted by so many snowballs).
5. I'm heading home to Ohio in a few days for the holidays! So excited!
6. Tonight I planned the second graduate student and young professional event at the Newman Center. We are having Adoration for an hour and then heading out to a local restaurant for dinner and drinks! Hopefully it will be fun; I've enjoyed being able to take a planning role to get some events for us "old" folks that hang around.
7. I pulled out the gimp for making lanyards again today... watch out. I tend to go into a lanyard making frenzy whenever this happens! Pictures might follow...

Believe, and Be Satisfied

I was first introduced to Believe, and Be Satisfied on the Women's retreat during my first year at Miami. My friend Caitlin and I were so touched by it, that whenever she or I was feeling particularly down about life or lacking faith in men and/or God, we read it aloud to each other.

We are having all-night Eucharistic Adoration at the Newman Center tonight in honor of finals week, and it was during my hour long marathon (I know, I can't normally sit still for that long... but I made it!) that Believe, and Be Satisfied popped into my head... and as I was reflecting on it, I had one of those mini profound moments of understanding.

Everyone longs to give herself completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God to a Christian says,

"No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, content with living, loved by Me alone, with giving yourself wholly and completely to Me, with having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone. Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.

You will never be united to another until you are united with Me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing... one that you cannot even imagine. I want you to have the best!

Please allow Me to bring it to you. Just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing the satisfaction knowing that I am. Keep listening to and learning the things I tell you. Just wait, that's all.

Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look at the things you think you want. Just keep looking off and away, up to me, or you'll miss what I have to show you. And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you. With a love far more wonderful than you would ever dream. You see, until you are ready, I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time. Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me. And this is perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with Myself.

Know that I love you completely, for I am God. Believe, and be satisfied." 

It's the last line in particular that has always resonated with me. I guess because it's always touched me in such a deep way, I've never really taken the time to think about what it actually means. The believe part seems simple - believe in God and His plan for your life - but the be satisfied part has always left me with a "feel good" feeling and has, up until now, escaped my deep thoughts. I had always connected it with the believe part (which it should be), but in the sense that I should believe in God's plan for me, and be satisfied with this plan. However, as I was reflecting on this in Adoration tonight, I got the feeling that I was being led to a deeper understanding with it.

WHAM. Ton of bricks. 

Alright, not really... I wish, then it would be simple. But it was profound in a miniature scale. Be satisfied doesn't just mean being satisfied with God's plan for me, it means being satisfied with God. It goes along with a lot of what I've been reading, studying, and reflecting on recently in terms of being single and discerning my path in life, and I've come to realize in the past few weeks that I cannot find satisfaction in anyone or anything but God alone. Only He can satisfy me. Society teaches us to seek that satisfaction in other places - career, money, family, friends, a spouse - but the Truth is that only God can give us that satisfaction for which we long. I've been getting this idea through all of the readings and videos and talks I've encountered the past few weeks, but it wasn't until Adoration tonight - when I was fully and completely in the presence of the Lord - that I truly started to understand that be satisfied means being satisfied with Him and Him alone. Yes, He is shaping and molding us in our spiritual growth for whatever our vocation is in life, but He is also working within our hearts so that we can experience what He offers us - a perfect love. As beautiful as the gift of marriage and family are, and as they are given to exemplify His love for us, these gifts are not where the satisfaction is to be found... it is in seeking God through these earthly gifts where we encounter the real treasure - being satisfied.

7 Quick Takes Friday (#3)

1. Since I installed the Feedjit on my blog, I’ve noticed some people other than myself are appearing on my blog! Welcome, hope you’re enjoying what you’re reading! If you have a few minutes and want to introduce yourself, I would love to get to know you!
2. This is my science geek-out moment for the week… I just finished reading Solar by Ian McEwan, his latest work of fiction - he is one of my favorite authors if you are looking for a good read this summer. The novel follows the life of a Nobel prize physicist who is past his prime... but it talks about a research project he "discovered" later in his career that has the concept of using solar energy to split water into hydrogen and oxygen, which can be used as a fuel source. His novel is so well researched - the science is pretty sound - but I was just so fascinated because I spent a semester researching these "solar fuel cells" for my senior capstone for my bachelor's degree. It was completely amazing to be a reading a novel that detailed a subject area with which I was familiar. I sort of wish he cited his sources, as I would love to see if he read literature from Dr. Harry Gray or Dr. Dan Nocera - two of the big researchers at Caltech and MIT, respectively, that have been great pioneers in this work. I can only imagine that he had to have stumbled upon their work, but I am intrigued. And if you geek out about stuff this kind of stuff like I do, be sure to check out this video and this video. 
3. I had my first softball game this week - it is so good to be back on the field after 5 years of not playing! My batting game was, well, non-existent, but I rocked in the field - 8 outs! That’s pretty cool. My hand now has a nice, swollen purple bruise on it though - the girls on my team don’t mess around with throwing the ball. Wham. Ouch.
4. I have had something going on EVERY NIGHT this week… but I am not complaining. Something that I struggled with moving here was finding things to do and people to talk to - I can be a pretty shy person at first - so it is very nice to have so much going on and feel like I have people I can call up just to hang out or get some food.
5. One of my favorite things about summer is the fresh fruit! I am pretty convinced that I have an addiction to sugar - I just HAVE to have it - but I love getting my sugar fix through strawberries or grapes or cherries or mangoes or… you get the idea. I’m eating cherries as I am writing this. Delicious.
6. I am going out tonight with some friends from the Newman Center - we are going to a place that has country line dancing and karaoke. Should be really interesting. I tend to go weak in the knees for country boys... there's just something about those cowboy hats and boots combined with that cute southern drawl!
7. I went to Eucharistic Adoration THREE times since last Friday. I feel pretty spiritually rejuvenated! I especially enjoy all-night adoration - there is something about sitting with Jesus at 1 AM that I just find so peaceful. What’s something that brings peace into your everyday life?

"Oh, How great is a priest!"

The parish a few miles from my apartment held a 40-hour Eucharistic Adoration for the celebration of the Feast of Corpus Christi. I was able to stop by twice and spend some quality time with Jesus for more than an hour each time, but I also had the opportunity to hear a speaker (Fr. Ramon Baez) on the Eucharist and the priesthood. He talked a lot about St. John Vianney, and there was a quote he included from the Curé d’Ars on the priesthood that I found particularly relevant to the Church today:

Oh, How great is a priest! The priest has the key of the heavenly treasures; it is he who opens the door; he is the steward of the good God, the distributor of His wealth… The priest is not a priest for himself, he does not give himself absolution, he does not administer the sacraments to himself… he is for you. After God, the priest is everything... When the people wish to destroy religion, they begin by attacking the priest, because where there is no longer any priest there is no sacrifice, and where there is no longer any sacrifice, there is no religion.

This last bit sounded oddly familiar to me… and I wonder why! Look at the recent newspaper headlines especially - in attempts to discredit the Church, there are people in society that are trying to tarnish the reputations of individual priests and bishops, attack the Pope, and even question and criticize the institution of the priesthood. It all makes sense - if you wish to destroy the Catholic Church, attack the “key of the heavenly treasures”, because if he is torn down, then we lose that crucial connection to God.

I think we Catholics sometimes take our priests (and the sacrifices they have made) for granted, but I think this is also a reflection of how we sometimes forget how great is the sacrifice that the High Priest made to redeem us all. In Jesus’ lifetime, those who felt threatened by his words tried to tear down his reputation and ultimately had him crucified... but it turned out great for us! I just really took this message to heart because our priests are so incredibly important for our spiritual growth.

7 Quick Takes Friday (#2)

Click on the picture to head over to Conversion Diary!

1.  As I sit here writing my “Quick Takes” for this week… I have to wonder, how on earth do people come up with SEVEN things each week? Clearly, I do not have enough exciting things happen in my life each week. I must work on that.

2.  Something I love about reading a new book is where it takes you. For example, I just finished People of the Book this week and it was a pretty good read. In talking about it on two separate occasions, I had two people recommend the same book to me - The Red Tent - and so it has been added to my reading list. Books just have a way of creating good conversations and leading to contemplative thinking - what a journey!

3.  I had a professor at my school who acts as a spiritual mother to many of us Catholic students ask me to go on a rosary pilgrammage next week. I had never even heard of these before she suggested it - has anyone ever been on one and what kind of experience was it for you?

4.  I love xkcd comics - they often have fun math and science jokes - but I found this recent one particularly entertaining. According to this, I am a science geek… but I am also a band nerd. So I guess I fit in the middle of the Venn diagram? (Points if you knew this was called a Venn diagram!)

5. Have I mentioned before how much I LOVE Fridays? I think I might have...

6.  I had my first softball practice this week. I haven’t played fast-pitch in five years and so I was a little nervous to get back into it - but it was a blast! I am so glad I found a team to play with for the season and am looking forward to getting some physical exercise in a fun and enjoyable way! 

7.  Tonight, I will be attending a Holy Hour of Eucharistic Adoration to pray for the men that will be ordained priests in DC. Adoration is a wonderful way to get some exercise for the spirit - we are in the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! Awesome. Please pray for all those that have answered the call to the religious life, especially those that will soon be ordained as priests!