Where I work has a very, shall we say, casual work attire.
I wish I was kidding.
About the "work attire", not my awesome pose.
On a daily basis, I see people walking around the office in ratty jeans, t-shirts, sweatshirts, athletic gear, sandals, leather pants... and while others may be comfortable with this, I just feel very un-professional wearing clothing like this in a work environment. Your workplace is where you want to leave a great impression on people!
So, like the rebel I am, I rocked the business attire look for many months, but then I just started feeling like that awkward girl who shows up to a Halloween party dressed up in costume when it turns out it isn't actually a costume party.
Just like this.
So, while I want to make a good impression at work, I also don't want to stand out in a prom-dress-at-the-middle-school-dance kind of way.
I asked the lovely ladies of Fine Linen and Purple to talk about dressing "professionally" in a "casual" way... and then I ended up writing a guest post! I look forward to reading all of your thoughts and what your casual work "staples" are, but here is what I've compiled as my must-haves for keeping it classy at work...
Which means you're going to get the longest post EVAH!!!
Just kidding. You get a picture of me with a few words. You are so lucky!
This week I am linking up with the ladies of Fine Linen and Purple with "What I Wore Sunday", because who doesn't love talking about their clothes.
Me and my fine posing/computer photography skillz.
What I am trending right now, H2T:
Rocking the bushy squirrel tail ponytail
Purple and white striped sweater, from Old Navy
Khaki slacks, from NY&Co, but purchased for a major major steal from my favorite thrift store, with the tags still on them!
Purple suede shoes, from Macy's
I usually rock a skirt or dress to Mass, but I went this morning instead of my usual evening Mass, so you get lazily dressed Liesl for today.
Hope all of you have had a fantastically wonderful weekend. Mine was pretty much awesome :)
I liked reading Emily's post because I think us single ladies often get caught up in the idea of, "Well, once I meet my Prince Charming and we fall in love, we'll get married right away and have super cute babies!!!!" which means we forget the whole dating and engagement time are still part of the single vocation! Emily's experiences are a good reminder to live on God's timing. Even if we know our vocation, sometimes we still have to be patient.
~*~
I've been engaged for exactly 367 days. Yep, you heard that right. It's been an entire year of this engagement process. I can’t exactly say my patience has been cooperating with me (it hasn’t), and I can’t say that this journey was easy (it wasn’t), but I can say that it has taught me to appreciate my time of being single before I say I do.
Being single is that time to really think about your vocation. Married life? Single life? Religious life? At my high school we had a class dedicated solely to vocations. Discernment is a tough process, especially at high school age! For some reason, I always knew I wanted to be married and be a mother. I prayed about it a lot when I was younger. When I finally met the man I knew I wanted to marry, I wanted to start living my vocation RIGHT NOW.
Clearly that didn’t happen. We still had 21 months left of being single people. We had 21 months left of not being “One” with God. We had 21 months left of being apart, not seeing each other, and talking little during the day. But we also had 21 months left of being single people and living out that vocation for that part of our lives.
Waiting to be married meant that I can learn to appreciate the little things I may not have when I’m married. As excited as I am to be married to my love, many things will change for me. I’m learning to enjoy what I have now and to still be excited for the future at the same time.
Even if you know what you are called to do, having patience on getting there and praying to God for guidance is the best thing you can do. Waiting to live out your vocation is tough (believe me, I know!), but God is really trying to teach you something! God is teaching me patience as I am waiting (8 more months!) for our wedding. He’s teaching me to appreciate the time I do have with my fiancé because even when we are married we both will have busy schedules. He’s teaching me to be a more compassionate person.
While waiting that strenuous wait to truly live out your vocation, think of the things that you are learning from God in the process. The single life isn’t the easiest thing, but there’s a reason why we wait 20-something years to really start living out what we’re called to do. Even if the single life is for you, it still takes a lot of prayer and contemplating. Believe me; God knows what He’s doing!
~*~
Emily is a 20-something almost-Catholic who is from Ohio. She blogs about her wedding planning, conversion, and weight-loss over at Day in the Life. She cannot wait to be married to her love on May 4 next year!
But getting rejected myself? Now that is not so fun.
Unfortunately, it's one of those annoying crosses of the single life to have to deal with rejection (after rejection after rejection etc. et al. la dee da). I don't have a lot of "official" dating experience, but I have been "officially" rejected more times than I would like to try counting.
Oreally?!
(P.S. I couldn't find a version of a guy saying this...
probably because this has been said by no guy ever.)
The good news is, I can always learn something new from these times of being rejected. God always wants us to get good out of suffering, right?
This post can be for the ladies who are dealing with break-ups, but it really is for those who have just been led on and/or rejected before it even got to the break-up stage. According to my spiritual director, ladies do more rejecting than men (which I've heard of never), so lads, go ahead and read these pointers if you're drowning your rejection in a tub of ice cream too.
For your benefit, I've compiled a succinct list of things that should help you if you ever get rejected, because I am pretty much an expert at it.
You're so welcome. My pain is your gain, ya?*
~*~
~ Don't write on your blog/Facebook about your rejection until you can laugh about it... it's always better to write with humor and a dash of sarcasm anyway.
~ Walk around muttering under your breath that men of this world should be more like Jesus, and Jesus would never reject you, obviously.
~ Read the Book of Job. His life was way worse. Then be thankful that your skin isn't covered in boils, because that is so unattractive.
"Oh, hey, I read Numbers all the time too!"
~ Learn to smile when he says, "You're a really great friend." And by smile, I mean think to yourself, "I hate that word."
~ Use all the free time you have now to practice those stellar Catholic pick-up lines. Always want to be prepared in case you catch the eye of a cutie two pews over at Mass.
~ Tell yourself that he's probably going to become a priest anyway... it will help you get over it faster, and Mary would be a better girlfriend for him. She has way more patience.
~ Realize that Taylor Swift songs can only be so cathartic. It doesn't matter if she was clearly thinking about your life when she wrote The Story of Us, you should probably only listen to her 10 times per day, no más.
I'm tracking how many times your watch this!
~ Pray to St. Francis and St. Clare of Assisi that you can one day rebuild your friendship with him... and while you're storming heaven with your pleas, throw in one to St. Jude to help you out with this seemingly impossible cause.
~ Embrace the awkward. There's nothing you can do about it, but at least you can enjoy watching him do the awkward turtle squirm.
~ Yes, maybe your prayer led you to think that you were going to get married and have adorable babies, but no, God did not lead you on like the boy did. There's a point to all of this... probably.
No use crying over spilt... onions?
~ Get thee to a nunnery kitchen... because nothing helps you vent hurt and frustration with the male species quite like large kitchen knives and pounding on some cookie dough. I personally recommend chopping lots of onions. Lots 'n lots o' onions.
~ Go for a run in the rain. It makes your run a more dramatic interpretation of your present state of life... and it helps you sweat off the package of Oreos you ate last night.
~ Just say no to drugs hugs. That's probably part of what got you both into this mess in the first place. Don't even think about holding hands during the Our Father either.
~ Give thanks to God for destroying the illusion that Catholic men are perfect... before you had to find out the really hard way, whatever that is.
~ Realize that someone saying "No" to you now is so that you'll be available for the one who was made to say "Yes!" to you later on.
Do you have some fun tips? Add to the list!
*Disclaimer: This post was not written about or for any one particular person. Just a humorous interpretation of my experiences and observations. P.S. I should also probably be clear that this post is written to be completely humorous, I do not hold any hurt or anger about any past rejections! Although, doing many of these things in a more serious fashion really did help me get over being rejected... especially cutting onions and running in the rain... and praying to the saints... and Taylor Swift... and so on. You get the idea.
I was having one of my usual way-too-early-in-the-morning-chats-while-making-our-tea with my co-worker recently, and I somehow ended up bringing up that I am a Girl Scout leader. We have had many conversations about what we do in our not-at-work time, and his response was:
"Wait, so you are a Girl Scout leader and you also work with your church and play softball?! You're so busy!"
I was slightly surprised by his reaction because I've always been involved in a lot of things, and most of my friends have too, so to me, it really doesn't seem like a lot. It did get me thinking though.
My response to him that morning was: "Well, yea, I am involved in all those things, but it really isn't that much..."
... which, for the most part, is true. Most of my activities are maybe a 1-2 hour time commitment on a weekly or bi-weekly basis, so it really doesn't seem too busy to me, most of the time.
After thinking about it though, I realized that a more truthful response would have been more of something like this:
"I try to keep busy 3 or 4 nights a week after work because I have less time to think about how lonely I am. Seeing people at these different things helps me forget for even a couple of hours that I go home and have to be alone. I don't want people to think though that this is my life and I'm too busy for new things, because I would gladly give up any of my busy-ness if a handsome lad wanted to take me out on a date!"
OK, so maybe I wouldn't have actually said all of that, but that is the more accurate answer. I do keep busy because it makes me feel less lonely. At the same time, I'm always afraid that I give off the wrong impression to the lads that I am too busy to have time for them, when really the opposite is true.
So, as this busy gal gets ready to head to bed after an already exhausting week, I turn this over to you.
How do you keep a balance between keeping busy as a single woman (to find companionship, serve others, and keep the loneliness away, among other reasons) and yet still showing men that you are available and open to other kinds of busy-ness (dating and, well, yea, just dating)?
I'd love to hear from the single single ladies, the taken single ladies, the engaged single ladies, the taken by God alone ladies, the married ladies, and even the men! Please chime in! P.S. I really really really want to respond to your comments via email so we can keep up the discussion, so please make sure an email address is tied to your comment profile! Here's how...
Have you done your good deed for the day? The week? The month? The year?
Well, have I got an idea for you!
Leila has introduced us all to Reece's Rainbow, which is an adoption ministry that works to raise money, awareness, and support for children with special needs who are waiting oh-so-patiently for their families to find them.
The children that are featured just break my heart, because they have so much love to give... yet they are sitting in an "orphanage" (better known as institutions) where they don't receive adequate care and not nearly enough hugs and kisses that every child deserves.
One of these sweet kiddos is Andrew, who spends each and every day in a crib!!!! Before you get all emotional, I have some good news - praise the Lord for the Spivey family, that cannot wait to bring him home! What little boy wouldn't want to live with sisters and a brother, with goats to pet, and little chickies and ducklings to play with and so much more!!
However, they need our help! Adoptions are expensive... really expensive. To help defray some of the costs, they are holding an auction right.this.very.second. out on Facebook, where the bidding is getting crazy! ALLof the items were donated, so all of the proceeds go to help bring Andrew home!
How can you help?
GO. BID. NOW. There are some great items up for bid, and again, all the money goes to help Andrew come home!
In my not-so-humble opinion (IMNSHO?), one of the best items out there is this here blanket:
Made by yours truly.
That's right. I will make you a one-of-a-kind homemade blanket, for you to snuggle up with your honey or kiddos or just by yourself with a mug of hot chocolate.
The current high bid is $75, but it's worth so much more than that, because along with a specialized blanket, you also get lots of prayers for your own special intention as I tie each one of those knots - that is a lot of knots!
So what are you waiting for!? Go bid on the blanket, or any of the other ~150 items!
But, wait, that's not all!
If you call within the next 20 minutes...
Wait, wrong advertisement (I said that with the British pronunciation in my head... go ahead, say it like them - ad-ver-tɪs-ment)...
Are you stuck in a bidding war for a one-of-a-kind blanket made just for you or someone you love?
Well, guess what?
TWO blankets have been donated to be auctioned off, awarded to the two highest bidders! We're talking a lot of knots here, people. Come on, you know you want to bid away!
Why are you still reading this post - why haven't you hopped over to the auction or to Andrew's page to donate directly?
I enjoyed reading Julie's post because as a single woman who is not in a relationship, it is very easy for me to forget that single women who are in relationships or engaged also still struggle with things like loneliness. It is a great reminder that we all need to seek Christ as our center, no matter what our current Facebook relationship status is.
~*~
The morning after my future sister’s wedding, my fiance and I attended the family brunch and were asked the question: short or long engagement?
B. said “short” and I said “long” – the listeners laughed.
We’ve been engaged for eight months now; four more months to go. It’s been a struggle intertwined with the joy of deepening our relationship and connections. As B. prepares to apply for residencies, I’m working, planning our wedding and preparing to transition into married life. We’ve made budgets and meshed five year plans. I’ve decided to delay grad school and he’s studied for and taken test after test following each rotation.
And that’s love, we’ve been told – let each struggle bring you closer together and closer to God, they say. But those practicalities are not even the hardest part for us. No, the hardest part of our engagement is that we’re still single people.
We’re long-distance and living with our families. B.’s weekends are usually on call and I try to balance my schedule with his. I’m squirreling away my income so we don’t have to take out anymore loans. We’re preparing to join two lives, two finances, two kinds of dish washing preferences and styles and prayer lives and quirks together into one union.
We’re single and we’re engaged and we’re ready to be married in a very real and literal way. This is our struggle, and there is a profound loneliness no amount of hand holding, night prayers or assurances of love can quench. This is why we both need Christ.
In Song of Solomon, it reads:
Upon my bed by night I sought him whom my soul loves; I sought him, but found him not; I called him, but he gave me no answer. “I will rise ow and go about the city, in the streets and in the squares; I will seek him whom my soul loves.” I sought him, and found him not. The watchmen found me, as they went about the city. “Have you seen him whom my soul loves?” Scarcely has I passed them, when I found him whom my soul loves. I held him, and would not let him go until I had brought him into my mother’s house… I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the hinds of the field, that you stir not up nor awaken love until it please” (3:1-5).
In these verses, I see my own beloved, and think of our chance meeting; I also see Christ in them. I experienced many heart wrangles before experiencing such human love, and I am of the firmest persuasion that B. and I met when we did because of Christ’s divine love for us.
Many single people desire to marry but do not first seek the peace of Christ first. Too often, God becomes an acquaintance when he should be a wingman.
When you wonder about the mystery of yourself, look to Christ who gives you the meaning of life. When you wonder what it means to be a mature person, look to Christ who is the fullness of humanity. And when you wonder about your role in the future of the world and the of the United States, look to Christ.
In the midst of my engagement, as I pray thanksgiving to God for my intended, I also talk to Christ about our struggles. Even in an engagement, there is a lot of loneliness. There are times we cannot talk, we cannot comfort, and we cannot be with each other. We cannot yet share many the ordinary movements which make up life. Still, this time is not wasted and it is needed. I am glad the Church requires at least six months for the engagement period. I am glad we struggle with temptation instead of trivializing it. I am glad that we can help carry this cross with Christ.
It is in Christ that I first loved B. It is in Christ that I love him and others. It is only in Christ whom I can rest my heart. It is him whom my soul seeks, and one is never truly single when Christ is with you.
Christ, my Lord! Christ, my Savior! Christ, my wingman! Pray for us! Be with us! We’re in it for the long haul.
This post was also written for Ignitum Today, check it out!
Julie and her fiance, B.!
Julie is a 20-something passionate Roman Catholic who blogs at The Corner with a View. You also might have read her writing as one of the Bright Maidens and over at Ignitum Today and Creative Minority Report. In case you missed it, Julie is engaged to be married to B. [why yes, that is his real name ;)] at the end of this year. Julie hails from one of the greatest states ever, which makes her pretty cool.
