Do you ever listen to a song on pop radio and just instantly think, "This song is totally talking about my man, Jesus!"
Nope? Just me?
Well, I know this song is actually about drugs and sex and unhealthy relationships, but from pretty much the first time I heard it, all I could picture in my mind was Jesus on the cross.
The more I've listened to it, the more and more I picture the whole song talking about the life of Christ, and how we are just searching and yearning for his love.
So, what follows is as close as I can get to show you all what I picture in my mind when I listen to this song, which - crazy as it seems - I use to pray.
**I've been working on this post for awhile to find all the right images, and now in light of the school shootings that happened last week, it seems even more fitting. Despite how tragic our world can be, we have to always remember that there is no tragedy where we cannot still find Love, there is no place that is completely hopeless because God is always there in our suffering. May those who suffer and cry out for hope feel God's presence, and may we all come to know and experience Christ's undying love that he has shown to each of us on the Cross.**
I had two - that's right two - posts not about clothes planned for this past week, and as we can see... that just didn't happen. Don't worry, they're coming soon!
But off to talk about more important things. Like what I wore today. Obviously.
Today is Gaudete Sunday, which means REJOICE! I especially love the readings today because they are definitely what I have been needing to hear - to not be discouraged and to not be anxious, but to rejoice and trust in the Lord. His will is what will bring each of us the greatest happiness here on earth... even if we have to be patient and wait for God's timing.
But, I have to say that I like this Sunday mostly because I love to see the priests rocking the pinkrose vestments.
Black dress - Gap super duper clearance rack, bought many moons ago
Cardigan - TJMaxx clearance rack
Deep berry (aka "rose") scarf - Unique Thrift Store, brand new!
Black velvet pumps - Macy's how-is-it-possible-these-shoes-are-so-cheap clearance rack
As you can see, I am a clearance rack shopper!
Be sure to head over to Fine Linen and Purple to check out everyone else rocking the pink... I mean, rose.
Which means, of course, another reason to ogle at everyone's clothes!
You mean everyone doesn't take emo looking photos in their kitchen?
My kitchen gets the best light, ok? I'm just thankful that the stove top is actually clean.
I feel like I ended up channeling a bit of Grace in that photo... Thanks for letting me steal your signaturepose!
My attempt at looking more normal...
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!
...ends up just looking kind of creepy.
You mean everyone doesn't have a creepy finger pose?
Guess it's just me.
And a close up of the boots, because they just don't like to photograph well.
Más details:
Green dress - Old Navy
Jean jacket - Old Navy, courtesy of Unique Thrift Store
Brown opaque tights - from the "I have no idea where I bought these" store
Brown boots - Merona, from Tarjet
As I am a walking ad for Old Navy today, it seems, I welcome them to send me free clothing and accessories to model. I'd willingly do that.
Mass details:
We got a homily on confession and a walk through of an examination of conscience, which I think is a homily that should be given more often.
I also got to see the transubstantiation and say hi to Jesus.
My overall Mass grade for myself is a C, because I got there early and prayed and hard core prayed before and after communion and stayed after Mass and prayed, but I was distracted by other thoughts most of the rest of Mass - unfortunately, said distraction did not involve a cute baby sitting in front of me that I was trying to plot how to steal. I guess I can't always win.
Make sure you trot on over to Fine Linen and Purple to sneak a peek at everyone else's Sunday best!
I also hope you all got a chance to read the guest post I had this week from the B-E-A-Uuuutiful Mary with her reflections on the single life from her view as a happily married woman! I just love her insight!
Speaking of guest posts, Amanda and I were talking a bit about how we never want to actually be good at living the single vocation... so I know that I am totally excited to read her thoughts coming soon!
Have any of you tried the Crackle overcoat nail polish? I have been wanting to try it out, and I saw it at TJMaxx today for a fashionista steal, so I snagged a couple of bottles... and I am kind of disappointed. It looks more like a glitter polish than a crackle effect - so my question for all of you nail experts - WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!?! Help a gal out, because I will feel so lame if I have to return my $2 nail polish.
4.
I have to say that St. Nick's Day is probably one of my favorite Catholic celebrations. Not only do we find little surprises in our stockings in the morning, but it's also fun to see all the Catholics come out on Facebook with pictures and posts about their stocking traditions!
Since I've always celebrated this tradition with my family, I thought it would be fun to share this tradition with my work family! I was lame and couldn't find my stocking while I was home, so thankfully, St. Nick was selfless and let me borrow his sock so I could still get some fun treats. It was fun being able to laugh at and ogle all the fun things we all got... and eat lots of candy. Mmmm candy.
5.
So I've been trying to eat healthier and work out more... trying being the operative word that is currently failing. Do you all have any great tricks to help motivate yourself to eat better and get active?
Throwing away all the chocolate? (Not even an option for me!)
Getting new cute work out clothes? (Could work, right?!)
Carrying around bags of frozen vegetables in your purse so that you have to eat them? (I currently use my frozen peas as an ice pack so...)
Really, how do you all get motivated to be healthy?
6.
I love making mixtapes... yes I actually still burn it onto a cassette tape. No, I'm totally kidding.
I have a very methodical way of making mixtapes for people, and each one I make is a personalized playlist for that specific person. I'm often telling a story with the music - whether it's a story of friendship or love or prayer or just geeking out over some awesome music that I know that specific person will enjoy - I just love going through all my music to find exactly what I want to evoke that meaning.
Making a mixtape is one of my tasks for this weekend. Do any of you ever make mixtapes for those you care about? Do you have a special method when you compile your playlist?
7.
This is the song that is currently playing on repeat on my playlist...
Tis a love letter to my future husband.
Have a great weekend!
Thanks to Jen as always for hosting!
I've asked Mary to write a guest post for me more times than I can count... because I always value her insight into faith and relationships! I loved reading her thoughts on the single life because I know that she has been there and done that (note the “Ugh.” in the first paragraph!), but by prayerfully living her vocation as a single woman, she and her husband eventually found their way to each other. I hope you all value her insight as much as I do!
~*~
I think one of the things I hated most about being single, especially after college, was the staggering amount of cliches hurled in my direction at a fairly intense velocity. Of course, in a way, I sought out the cliches since I read Catholic blogs and books on being a Catholic single woman, but did they all have to say the same thing? They all exhorted me to “live your life now” and, “God’s calling you to follow Him now, not just after you meet your future husband.” Ugh. Unfortunately, the worst part about most cliches is that they’re usually correct. God does want you to love Him totally and completely now. Original sin will be there before and after marriage and we always want to be vigilant against that.
Still, telling a person who is craving to meet their soul mate to just distract themselves and keep pursuing the good in the present seems a tad harsh. Desiring to meet the man God has for you seems to me to be a perfectly natural, ordered good. The problem only comes when you let that desire overcome your entire life.
As my husband, John, and I celebrate our one year anniversary, I can’t help but thoroughly praise God for bringing him into my life. John is everything I hoped for, everything I always wanted. In a temporal way, John completes me. We go to Mass together, we pray the rosary together, and we challenge each other. We get into spats, anxieties and sin together, but I love having someone to face all of that icky, ugly stuff with in solidarity. We always eventually come to the conclusion that it’s our purpose to serve God together... sin gets in our way and so, as a couple, we need to fight that with all of our being.
Since I’m a blogger (and a woman), I naturally like lists. Here is a list of the things I wish I’d kept in mind before I met my husband
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you if you’re into your twenties or thirties (or forties) and have never had a serious boyfriend. A dating history is an incredibly poor indicator of happiness in the future. Hanging out with friends or pursuing a fun hobby is a much more purposeful and excellent way to spend free time than dating a loser who you’d never see yourself marrying. Also, just because you haven’t dated anyone before does NOT mean you are not beautiful, fun, smart and a great catch. Having dated a lot is in no way correlated with your meeting an amazing man and living happily ever after.
Standing up for what you believe in and what you want from the beginning is a really good idea. Not having sex before marriage, babies after marriage, etc. are good things that should be put on the table and pursued!! Don’t be afraid of the beauty of your faith and the purity of your dreams! Faith and purity are worthy goals to strive for... not aspects about yourself to hide! A good man finds these qualities attractive, so communicating these aspects about yourself helps you find out what kind of guy he really is.
Know where to draw the line when it comes to unsolicited advice. Only seek advice from those who absolutely want the best for you. Dating is about discerning which man is going to lead you to heaven. Other friends and family will find it extremely easy to cut that down and distract you with shallower concerns. My sister thought John was geeky and some of my girlfriends thought he was awkward. I stressed out about those observations until one day I realized...I love those aspects about him!
Avoid getting caught up in the 21st century “relationship trends”. By this I mean, worrying about being “Facebook official”, planning your future wedding on Pinterest, or spending a ton of time going out in groups and making everyone think you’re in a great relationship when you might not be. Dating is a time of serious discernment. Focus on the time you’re spending with this man. Do you enjoy the time spent together doing absolutely nothing? Does he make you laugh? Does he encourage you to pursue things that you know to be good (faith, acts of charity, relationships with your family, chastity, etc.)? It does not matter what the rest of the world thinks. You know the difference between right and wrong. You know how to tell when a guy is a good man and when he’s really just a boy. Trust your instincts!
Spend time around people who help mold you into the person you want to be. Set high goals for yourself. Always be seeking ways to make yourself better, to accomplish things you set your mind to. Yes, dating is fun and it’s always nice to feel desired and wanted... but that’s really not what life is all about. Pray for your future husband (after I had a particularly ugly break up, I prayed that God give me a man like John Walker, the cutest, smartest guy I’d ever met but with whom I was stuck in the “friends zone”. God answered that prayer in the most incredible way!).
Be wary of the “friendlationship zone”. I think this is one of the trickiest things girls face today when it comes to dating. They’ll start to be friends with a guy, fall for him and then be anxious about why he’s not moving things to the next level. I would say that if a guy has gotten to know you and is still not pursuing a dating relationship with you, it’s completely fair to ask him what his intentions are. You don’t have to reveal that you like him, but it’s unfair for him to drag you along and enjoy your company and send mixed messages about his feelings for you. A man who wants to pursue a relationship with you generally will without too much help!
Keep in mind that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a single, beautiful, faithful woman... take pride in that!! You show the world that fulfillment comes not from another person, but from God Himself. When you get right down to it, that is one of the most important witnesses our society needs right now. We turn everywhere but God for fulfillment and it’s easy to think that people can only be fulfilled when they’re married. Insane rates of divorce, domestic violence and “open marriages” tell a completely different story. God is all you really need, let Him help you.
Please pray for me, as I will for sure pray for you!
~*~
Mary, once a single gal, is married to John Walker, a wonderful Catholic man and captain in the U.S. Air Force! Mary studied political science at the George Washington University and received a master's degree in politics from the University of Dallas. She loves being a military spouse, playing the violin, and the talking/writing about the U.S. Supreme Court, among other things. She is a regular contributor at Truth and Charity, so go check her out!
Mary and Liesl met through a mutual friend and are lucky enough to be friends in real, real life! They share a love of Yellowcard and Switchfoot, cooking, writing lists that end up being normal numbers (like five, not the above six), and lighting candles (which was discovered as they were the candle-lighters in said mutual friend's wedding!).
Did you read my guest post with them yet? You should.
The digs:
- My new do, courtesy of Hair Cuttery ($22 for a haircut! How do I love thee, let me count the ways!)
- Black and white dress, unkown origins but courtesy of le thrift store and taken in by my momma
- Brown boots, Merona from Target (Target, feel free to send me gift cards or coupons or free clothes, whatever suits your fancy!)
- Blue earrings for Advent, courtesy of the Kohl's clearance rack (Kohl's, my email address is in the sidebar if you want to send me free goods!)
- Jerusalem Cross Necklace, from the Kairos retreat I went on my senior year of college (any other Live the 4th-ers out there?!)
- Busted lip, courtesy of a blister I somehow got while biting my lip while sleeping... I really have no idea. But does it make me look rough and tough? That's the look I'm really going for...
Related but unrelated...
Are any of you single ladies plagued by how to get your picture taken each week? I use my computer to snap my photo, but it's always so dark in my apartment (even with every.single.light.on!!!) and so I feel like the pictures are not the best quality. I'm intrigued to see how you all manage!
As always, I love ogling at your outfits and poses (do you knee pop like me or go for the more model-esque approach?). And... Happy New Year!
Some thoughts about being single from people who say things much better than me.
On the desire for marriage and the single person's fear of heartbreak and loneliness...
"The good thing is that our Father in Heaven, in Christ Jesus, shows us this great example through Christ about this suffering and how we need to embrace that suffering of maybe loneliness or the fear, but if we embrace it with Christ, He promises us resurrection, He promises us that fulfillment of those desires. The desire that we have in our hearts for unity and for love, He placed there! And so what kind of a Father would give us a desire that wouldn't fulfill it, and He wants to fill it abundantly and we have to trust that faith and we have to believe that our Father in Heaven desires that more than anything else, even more than we desire it. And so I guess it's a matter of the very foundation of putting that faith and trust in God and going with our Lord and place that petition before our Lord, and He will hear it and He will answer that prayer."
(Jason Angelette, on Catholic Answers Live, ~9:50 into the show)
On being worried...
"I am not at all worried about the future. I am sure God will do his will; it is the only grace I desire."
(St. Therese of Lisieux)
On the ache of singlehood...
God is the only one who can satisfy your heart. Another person doesn't complete you, only Jesus Christ can complete you! Place your trust in God, not in people. People disappoint, but God never does.
Marriage is not going to fix you. The healthier you can be as a single person in your faith and in yourself, the better foundation that's going to be for your marriage. Marriage isn't there to make you happy, it's there to make you holy!
The more intimate your relationship with God, the less you will feel that ache for another person. The perfect man for you can't even hold a candle to God and His love for you. He fills that desire in our hearts.
O God, you are my God—
it is you I seek! For you my body yearns;
for you my soul thirsts,
In a land parched, lifeless,
and without water.
I look to you in the sanctuary
to see your power and glory.
For your love is better than life;
my lips shall ever praise you!
I will bless you as long as I live;
I will lift up my hands, calling on your name.
My soul shall be sated as with choice food,
with joyous lips my mouth shall praise you!
I think of you upon my bed,
I remember you through the watches of the night
You indeed are my savior,
and in the shadow of your wings I shout for joy.
My soul clings fast to you;
your right hand upholds me.
In the hidden recesses of the human heart the grace of a vocation takes the form of a dialogue. It is a dialogue between Christ and an individual, in which a personal invitation is given. Christ calls the person by name and says: "Come, follow me." This call, this mysterious inner voice of Christ, is heard most clearly in silence and prayer. Its acceptance is an act of faith.
(Blessed John Paul II, Homily, February 10, 1986)
Do you have any quotations or reflections on being single you'd like to share?
*If you'd like to contribute a guest post to the Being Single Series, e-mail me at spiritualworkoutblog @ gmail.com*
First, can we just talk about how Grace gave me a shout out on her blog? Yes, it's hidden in a bunch of other names, but she called me "lovely", and I am nothing but humble and always so grateful. To show my gratitude, maybe I will post another recipe sometime between soon and next year.
Also, I feel like all I've written about this month has been my clothing, creatively tagged "Fashion"... well, except for this little shout out to the lads! Oh well, off to talk about clothes some more!
I went pretty casual to Thanksgiving dinner because we were at The Woods, which is only one of my favorite places ever in the whole wide world.
My grandparent's have a cabin out in Amish country, and we have lakefront property in a heavily wooded area. It's so gorgeous there, obviously.
Cabin on the right, garage on the left, lake in the picturesque backdrop!
Nothing beats the view from my back porch lookin' in!
Our Thanksgiving days o' fun consisted of driving around the property in our golf cart turned fire truck...
Pre-Thanksgiving outfit... I had planned to go running
but obviously left that behind for my God-given talent of modeling.
...running after our cute cousins, including my always hilarious godson...
There's my actual Thanksgiving outfit! Can you see it?!
My Godson, whose name is NOT Lloyd, told me to call him Lloyd because that is his ninja name... I don't even know...
...setting up a new swing...
Also known as me and some cousins...
...watching the men set up the new swing.
...enjoying said new swing...
Me having fun on the right in my day after Thanksgiving outfit,
also titled, "When did it suddenly become so cold outside?!?"
...working on this massive crossword puzzle which is only the greatest thing ever (except for my eyes, it's the worst)...
Crosswords are my brain break at work... it's weird, I know.
...bundling up for the cold night hike...
Always fashionable, I am.
..."Black Friday" shopping at my favorite Amish bakery and furniture store...
True story!
...oh, and eating, of course! But no one takes a picture of that, because we're eating... obviously.
What makes me a fashion icon, obviously:
Brown cable knit cardigan - Old Navy (so old that even Old Navy has forgotten about it)
Coral print faux wrap tee - Merona from Target (I love this tee so much that I have it in 3 patterns and colors...)
Trouser jeans - Old Navy (I wore them here too!)
My new kicks - Nike (bought for a steal at JCPenney Outlet)
I hope you all had a blessed Thanksgiving! Be sure to go check out everyone else's leave-room-for-turkey-and-cranberry-sauce outfits, because we all love clothes that make us look good while we're chowing down.
Ah, being single. There are so many fun things that go along with being single. Having no one to witness you eating an entire package of Oreos, for one. Oh, sure, we get the loneliness and seem to be extra super de duper vulnerable to the "He Likes Me!?, He Likes Me Not???" moments, but no big deal, right?
You know what I’m talking about. The Taylor Swift-esque “ohmygoodness he just winked at me *squeeeeeeeee*” moment that changes everything, and makes you wonder if he’s starting to see you as more than a friend. Then right when you decide that yes, yes he does see you as more than a friend and you pour out your wee little heart, you get the great big stamp of rejection. Oh so fun.
Fortunately for us single ladies, people do still date and get married, so rejection doesn’t happen all the time (right?!). So, the question is – when is he trying to show he’s interested in you and when is he just trying to be your friend? Guys, how can we tell what you mean? Us ladies tend to analyze everything, so could you just be a bit more clear?
I came across this gem this weekend, and not only did it make me laugh, but I found most of his tips from one guy to another to be pretty spot on.
So, while I typically write towards the ladies, this post is more for the lads. I thought you might be interested in having one gal's perspective on these ten tips. I don't write for all the single ladies, but I think many of us would generally have similar ideas about these tips.
I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts, though, guys and gals. What do you think of these tips? Any that you would add? How do you handle the “What is our ______-ship status” dance?
Just so you know, medium
salsa is spicy to me!
#10 - Find Out What She Likes - While I would find it sweet if you were willing to go see Twilight with me, I actually would prefer that you didn't! That being said, when I am getting to know someone, I love hearing what your interests are. Lads who are so passionate about something that they get visibly excited when telling me about said passion are medium salsa spicy to very attractive.
So, on the flip side, a lad taking the time to learn what I'm passionate about, and then taking even more time to be interested in at least hearing about what I love? That makes me feel pretty special. Even better, try out some of these things with me! This gal’s main love language (I feel lame… “love language” sounds so 1960s or something) is quality time, so if you’re willing to spend some quality time with me doing the things that I love or you love, I’m inevitably going to take an interest in you.
#9 - Encourage Her - This cannot be stressed enough! Everyone has confidence issues from time to time, and that’s why it is so important to build me up, not tear me down. Yes, I can take jokes all day and will most likely dish it back to you, but if that’s all you do, without any words of encouragement, you can bet that it will get old fast. I know that I will especially notice if a guy is encouraging to me during a time when I’m down or lacking confidence. Making me feel that who I am and what I do is of value to you or others is a sure-fire way to show some interest in me.
#8 - Compliment Her - I’m going to let you in on a secret, lads. Ladies tend to do things to impress you or gain your notice. Whether it’s making a witty comment that I know will make you laugh or wearing a shirt I know that you like, I’m guilty of this too. So when you take notice and compliment me, I notice that you noticed. Make sense?
Honestly, a compliment goes a long way. It shows me that not only do you appreciate something about me, but that you are also comfortable enough to let me know that you like how my shirt brings out my eyes or you love the brownies I baked. And the more you compliment me, the more likely I am to feel comfortable complimenting you. And guys love compliments too, right?
She's talking to me, we're besties.
Don't let "HIM!!!" be you!
#7 - Get to Know Her Family and Friends - I know that this can be tough since my family doesn’t live near me, but showing an interest in my family and friends shows that you are interested in hearing about the important people in my life. Ask how my weekend at home was with my family or about the fun plans I have with my friends that weekend. Better yet, remember the names of my sisters, other family members, or friends. Hearing that you remember that I’m hanging out with my friend Bon Qui Qui this weekend makes me realize that you were truly listening when I gave the play-by-play of my weekend plans with her earlier.
#6 - Support Your Local Chivalry - Contrary to popular belief, chivalry is not dead! Chivalry is a bit more about opening the door for a lady, though. It’s about the intention behind what you are doing - it's truly about having a servant's heart. Loving another is all about serving and putting another person’s needs above your own. “Acts of service” is another one of those fun lurve languages that I happen to like. It doesn’t have to be something huge, it's the little things that make a big difference, as long as you have the right intention. Hold the door for me. Walk me to my car. Help me put on my coat. Pay for my dinner... or ice cream... or both! When all else fails, ask: "Hey is there anything I can do to make your life as lovely as you are?" My answer: “Always, and yes, yes please.”
#5 - Don't Post Cell Phone Mirror Self Portraits on Facebook - Does anyone actually do this anymore? If you do, just stop now, and please don't ever ever ever do this again.
#4 - Don't Lay it on Too Thick - I have to disagree a bit with him here. Sure, don't be a creeper. Nobody likes a creeper. At the same time, though, it's ok to show that you are taking an interest in me, especially if you are showing that you are thinking about me when I’m not around! Text me when you see something that reminds you of me! Post a funny video to my Facebook if it made you think of the conversation we had earlier that day! Invite me to go try that new burger place you passed on your way home because you know I enjoy a good burger! Just don’t be over the top – if you find yourself wanting to lay it on thick all the time, then you should probably go read the message to the lads who are interested at the bottom.
Totally not kidding. You think I'm
kidding about not kidding, but I'm not.
#3 - Keep Your Hands to Yourself! - I'm not going to lie. I was at first offended by being compared to a candy bar. Then I realized how I get when I just HAVE TO HAVE CHOCOLATE RIGHT NOW. It's like a destructive frenzy and bless the poor souls who get in my way. Old lady in the grocery store? Who cares. I need my chocolate NOW. So when he said to remember that you always want more candy bars (except with Oreos, of course), I can relate to the difficulty of putting on the brakes. Sure, I enjoy polishing off an entire package of Oreos in 15 minutes just like the next person, but when I spread out the Oreo love over a longer period of time, I value my Oreos a lot more.
Of course, I think that this is an over-simplified version of what men (and women!) tend to go through, but I think he makes some good points. One of the best ways to show me that you’re interested – and to get me to like you in return – is to respect me – including my beliefs, my needs, and my comfort level. I know that I work hard to practice the virtue of self-control, and I can’t even begin to explain how attractive it is to me when a lad exhibits self-control as well.
All of this being said, you also don’t have to be all middle-school-dance style. As my secondary love language (again, weird) is touch, you initiating respectful physical contact, like a hug or a little brush of the arm or the hand, shows me that you’re interested in more than friendship. However, respect that I place a lot of value on certain things that are reserved for the dating stage and other things that are reserved for the marriage stage, and respect that it’s important to me to only share these valuables with someone I treasure equally as much.
#2 - Make Her Feel Safe - I think this is the tip that resonated the most with me, oddly enough. In those first stages of spending more time together, one of my first thoughts is, “I feel safe and comfortable with this person.” If I don’t/can’t trust you, I won’t feel safe being me with you and therefore sharing who I am with you. I think the best way to make me feel safe is to follow #1.
#1 - Be Her Best Friend - I feel safe with someone that I trust completely, and people that I trust are those who have taken the time to get to know me and have become a close friend. All that talk about “the friend zone” with the lads just irks me, because why would you want to waste your time with someone you don't like spending time with? Strong and lasting relationships are built on strong friendships – trust, respect, and, for me, lots of laughter! The easiest way to be my best friend? Conversation. If I can sit and have a great conversation with you before realizing that hours have passed, then chances are I trust you, and possibly have maybe even considered the thought of letting you be more than my best friend.
So here’s what it comes down to, for me and for many other single ladies that I know.
Guys, if you read only one thing in all of this post, it should be these messages to YOU.
Here, have a beer to get you through.
Take your pick!
To the Lads who aren't interested:
Yes, keeping chivalry alive and respecting and appreciating the lasses in your life is important... but don't take it too far. To put it bluntly, being led on by a guy absolutely sucks. Doing all of these things without having any interest in me whatsoever is leading me on, and leads to rejection. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but for a girl who thinks she is being wooed - to have that suddenly ripped out from under her feet - it hurts. It’s important that you aren’t lying with your actions. Saying, “You’re a great friend!” isn’t going to cut it – your actions have to mimic your words and vice versa. So please, be gentle with our hearts. Respect and care for us, but know where the line is.
To the Lads who are interested:
Trying out the top ten things goes a long way to showing me that you care, that you appreciate me, that you respect me, that you are interested in me. But speaking from personal experience and the experiences of so many others, I’ve been hurt by men who have done many of these things without having an interest in anything other than friendship. Each time this happens, unfortunately, I start building a wall up around my heart in an attempt to keep from getting hurt again. And, if you are showing your interest in me by doing all the above things, as much as I want to think that everything you do is because you're interested, it can be difficult to tear down the wall because I’m afraid of falling for the same lies again. This leads me to the #1 tip that isn't on this list but that you need to know…
USE YOUR WORDS.
Actions can say a lot, but actually saying, "Hey, I'd like to take you out on a date on Saturday night." or even "Hey, I like you as more than a friend. How would you feel about us dating?" means so much more. If you’ve taken the time with #1 above, I am going to trust what you say. I can't question words as easily as I can wonder about your actions. Obviously, timing is everything. Take the necessary time to get to know me and show how you care, but don’t putz around either. Otherwise, I’m going to start to think that your actions are meaningless.
Nerves getting the best of you? Don’t let them. If you’ve taken the time to get to know me and become my friend, all while going above and beyond to show your interest in me, then chances are that I’ve almost 100% definitely wondered about your intentions and thought about wanting to be just more than your friend, too. After all, this video was all about 10 ways to get a girl to like you. It maybe sorta kinda works.
Just remember, nothing says "I care about you," like actually saying, "I care about you."
You could also just send me this in an email.
That was a joke. Please don't do that.
Unless you've already told me, then go right ahead. I might laugh. Maybe.
Let me 'splain. I had planned on wearing the below photographed outfit to Mass on Sunday, but for undisclosed reasons, it didn't happen. You don't get a picture of what I actually wore to Mass because my hair was a ratty squirrel's nest, which no one needed to see (sorry people in the pew behind me!).
So, instead, you get "What I wore to work Monday and had planned on wearing to Mass on Sunday but just didn't happen", which is far too long for a link up title.
I didn't want to miss out on the linkage love with all of you ladies over at Fine Linen and Purple, so I hope you all can forgive me for posting what I actually wore on Monday. If you can't, you can kick me out or ban me from next week's post, I totally understand.
Someday I'll find a way to take a decent, not awkward, self portrait. Til then...
As I wrote about last week, I love playing with color, and I got to do that with this outfit. It might be hard to see because the lighting is so utterly terrible in my apartment, but I am wearing a new teal skirt (bought for a steal from Ross), a white tee (Van Heusen from the thrift store), a pink berry colored scarf (from a London street seller), brown boots (Merona from Target), and a yellow beaded bracelet (Kohl's).
Yes, all these colors do go together!
Scarf-less, but always with the knee pop.
To be honest, I originally hadn't planned on wearing the scarf all day, but for some reason, my office was freezing, so it stayed put. I think it actually adds some more fun to the outfit though!
Off to put on my running clothes... but you all probably don't care because there isn't a "What I Wore to Sweat In" link-up, which is probably a good thing.
Where I work has a very, shall we say, casual work attire.
I wish I was kidding.
About the "work attire", not my awesome pose.
On a daily basis, I see people walking around the office in ratty jeans, t-shirts, sweatshirts, athletic gear, sandals, leather pants... and while others may be comfortable with this, I just feel very un-professional wearing clothing like this in a work environment. Your workplace is where you want to leave a great impression on people!
So, like the rebel I am, I rocked the business attire look for many months, but then I just started feeling like that awkward girl who shows up to a Halloween party dressed up in costume when it turns out it isn't actually a costume party.
Just like this.
So, while I want to make a good impression at work, I also don't want to stand out in a prom-dress-at-the-middle-school-dance kind of way.
I asked the lovely ladies of Fine Linen and Purple to talk about dressing "professionally" in a "casual" way... and then I ended up writing a guest post! I look forward to reading all of your thoughts and what your casual work "staples" are, but here is what I've compiled as my must-haves for keeping it classy at work...
Which means you're going to get the longest post EVAH!!!
Just kidding. You get a picture of me with a few words. You are so lucky!
This week I am linking up with the ladies of Fine Linen and Purple with "What I Wore Sunday", because who doesn't love talking about their clothes.
Me and my fine posing/computer photography skillz.
What I am trending right now, H2T:
Rocking the bushy squirrel tail ponytail
Purple and white striped sweater, from Old Navy
Khaki slacks, from NY&Co, but purchased for a major major steal from my favorite thrift store, with the tags still on them!
Purple suede shoes, from Macy's
I usually rock a skirt or dress to Mass, but I went this morning instead of my usual evening Mass, so you get lazily dressed Liesl for today.
Hope all of you have had a fantastically wonderful weekend. Mine was pretty much awesome :)
I liked reading Emily's post because I think us single ladies often get caught up in the idea of, "Well, once I meet my Prince Charming and we fall in love, we'll get married right away and have super cute babies!!!!" which means we forget the whole dating and engagement time are still part of the single vocation! Emily's experiences are a good reminder to live on God's timing. Even if we know our vocation, sometimes we still have to be patient.
~*~
I've been engaged for exactly 367 days. Yep, you heard that right. It's been an entire year of this engagement process. I can’t exactly say my patience has been cooperating with me (it hasn’t), and I can’t say that this journey was easy (it wasn’t), but I can say that it has taught me to appreciate my time of being single before I say I do.
Being single is that time to really think about your vocation. Married life? Single life? Religious life? At my high school we had a class dedicated solely to vocations. Discernment is a tough process, especially at high school age! For some reason, I always knew I wanted to be married and be a mother. I prayed about it a lot when I was younger. When I finally met the man I knew I wanted to marry, I wanted to start living my vocation RIGHT NOW.
Clearly that didn’t happen. We still had 21 months left of being single people. We had 21 months left of not being “One” with God. We had 21 months left of being apart, not seeing each other, and talking little during the day. But we also had 21 months left of being single people and living out that vocation for that part of our lives.
Waiting to be married meant that I can learn to appreciate the little things I may not have when I’m married. As excited as I am to be married to my love, many things will change for me. I’m learning to enjoy what I have now and to still be excited for the future at the same time.
Even if you know what you are called to do, having patience on getting there and praying to God for guidance is the best thing you can do. Waiting to live out your vocation is tough (believe me, I know!), but God is really trying to teach you something! God is teaching me patience as I am waiting (8 more months!) for our wedding. He’s teaching me to appreciate the time I do have with my fiancé because even when we are married we both will have busy schedules. He’s teaching me to be a more compassionate person.
While waiting that strenuous wait to truly live out your vocation, think of the things that you are learning from God in the process. The single life isn’t the easiest thing, but there’s a reason why we wait 20-something years to really start living out what we’re called to do. Even if the single life is for you, it still takes a lot of prayer and contemplating. Believe me; God knows what He’s doing!
~*~
Emily is a 20-something almost-Catholic who is from Ohio. She blogs about her wedding planning, conversion, and weight-loss over at Day in the Life. She cannot wait to be married to her love on May 4 next year!
But getting rejected myself? Now that is not so fun.
Unfortunately, it's one of those annoying crosses of the single life to have to deal with rejection (after rejection after rejection etc. et al. la dee da). I don't have a lot of "official" dating experience, but I have been "officially" rejected more times than I would like to try counting.
Oreally?!
(P.S. I couldn't find a version of a guy saying this...
probably because this has been said by no guy ever.)
The good news is, I can always learn something new from these times of being rejected. God always wants us to get good out of suffering, right?
This post can be for the ladies who are dealing with break-ups, but it really is for those who have just been led on and/or rejected before it even got to the break-up stage. According to my spiritual director, ladies do more rejecting than men (which I've heard of never), so lads, go ahead and read these pointers if you're drowning your rejection in a tub of ice cream too.
For your benefit, I've compiled a succinct list of things that should help you if you ever get rejected, because I am pretty much an expert at it.
You're so welcome. My pain is your gain, ya?*
~*~
~ Don't write on your blog/Facebook about your rejection until you can laugh about it... it's always better to write with humor and a dash of sarcasm anyway.
~ Walk around muttering under your breath that men of this world should be more like Jesus, and Jesus would never reject you, obviously.
~ Read the Book of Job. His life was way worse. Then be thankful that your skin isn't covered in boils, because that is so unattractive.
"Oh, hey, I read Numbers all the time too!"
~ Learn to smile when he says, "You're a really great friend." And by smile, I mean think to yourself, "I hate that word."
~ Use all the free time you have now to practice those stellar Catholic pick-up lines. Always want to be prepared in case you catch the eye of a cutie two pews over at Mass.
~ Tell yourself that he's probably going to become a priest anyway... it will help you get over it faster, and Mary would be a better girlfriend for him. She has way more patience.
~ Realize that Taylor Swift songs can only be so cathartic. It doesn't matter if she was clearly thinking about your life when she wrote The Story of Us, you should probably only listen to her 10 times per day, no más.
I'm tracking how many times your watch this!
~ Pray to St. Francis and St. Clare of Assisi that you can one day rebuild your friendship with him... and while you're storming heaven with your pleas, throw in one to St. Jude to help you out with this seemingly impossible cause.
~ Embrace the awkward. There's nothing you can do about it, but at least you can enjoy watching him do the awkward turtle squirm.
~ Yes, maybe your prayer led you to think that you were going to get married and have adorable babies, but no, God did not lead you on like the boy did. There's a point to all of this... probably.
No use crying over spilt... onions?
~ Get thee to a nunnery kitchen... because nothing helps you vent hurt and frustration with the male species quite like large kitchen knives and pounding on some cookie dough. I personally recommend chopping lots of onions. Lots 'n lots o' onions.
~ Go for a run in the rain. It makes your run a more dramatic interpretation of your present state of life... and it helps you sweat off the package of Oreos you ate last night.
~ Just say no to drugs hugs. That's probably part of what got you both into this mess in the first place. Don't even think about holding hands during the Our Father either.
~ Give thanks to God for destroying the illusion that Catholic men are perfect... before you had to find out the really hard way, whatever that is.
~ Realize that someone saying "No" to you now is so that you'll be available for the one who was made to say "Yes!" to you later on.
Do you have some fun tips? Add to the list!
*Disclaimer: This post was not written about or for any one particular person. Just a humorous interpretation of my experiences and observations. P.S. I should also probably be clear that this post is written to be completely humorous, I do not hold any hurt or anger about any past rejections! Although, doing many of these things in a more serious fashion really did help me get over being rejected... especially cutting onions and running in the rain... and praying to the saints... and Taylor Swift... and so on. You get the idea.
